𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐬

006 - solo

solo
《 ˈsōlō 》
adjective & adverb
for or done by one person alone; unaccompanied.

—IRENE
"Jin let's date."

"Wait, what did you just say?" Jin looked at me with disbelief. "I said, let's date." I said shyly. I didn't him to interpret it wrong and think that I was using him to avenge myself. I wasn't, I was in this broken state with tears flinging around at different times. I needed something to take myself off of him. Away from the man who caused me grief.

"You're using me aren't you? Irene?" Jin looked away as he picked up the plates and walked off to the sink. "I'm not Jin, I just though we're so close maybe we should date." I said as I picked up the rest of the plates to help Jin. But what was I doing? Asking my friend to date me? I was insane, and I feel  it too. I feel every last bit of my sanity has been ripped away. I didn't want to date Jin, my stupid heart only belonged to him. It wouldn't be lenient to anyone. I was using him. In the end, even if I tried so hard to lie to myself I was still using him and I didn't like him.

I'm sorry Jin. But maybe I really wasn't sorry, I just felt I needed vengeance in that little moment. It was a heinous act, truth be told. I didn't want it to happen but it just happen.

I was with him again. Lying against talking and laughing and smiling. Not noticing about the outsiders. Not noticing that once again I was an outsider. So maybe, in the end I always end up alone and flying solo. Why is that? Why do I never get one happily ever after?

"But Irene you had one and ruined it." A little voice in my head jumped out.

It was true I did have one and ruin it. It was with Jin, I was in bliss, it was simple cause everything we did together he always seemed genuine and not a single bit fake. Jin always seemed to have nothing to hide like he was the perfect boyfriend. And he was. He had perfect characteristics and how he cooked for his girlfriend. It just wasn't right. I didn't understand why my heart couldn't have loved him instead of Taehyung.

But it's not like you could willingly change who you could love, even if you tried so hard to block this one person out of your life, fate will always direct you in his or her's direction. And that was what fate was doing to me right now. It kept moving me towards his direction. But it was useless, anyway I couldn't stop loving Taehyung so what was I doing plotting this little ploy instead of focusing on my career. B-but if I just could force myself to date Jin and fall in love with him, just maybe. I could do it.

And maybe I wouldn't be a broken mirror after all.