Change || Loki.

19.

"I asked him to be honest with you from the beginning." Frigga gently whispered to Loki while they sat on the opposite sides of Odin's bed. "There should be no secrets in a family."

Loki looked at her with emotionless, blank eyes and asked, "So why did he lie?"

"He kept the truth from you so you would never feel different." Even when Loki believed he was Odinson he had always felt different, so he wondered if Odin knew how terrible he had been at keeping him from feeling that way. But he decided to stay quiet, although the wanted to shout out all the things he felt.

"You are our son, Loki. And we your family. You must know that." Frigga said in reassurance causing Loki to soften. His anger had melted away now that he looked back at Odin. Seeing him like this was hard.

"I never get used to seeing him like this. The most powerful being in the nine realms, lying helpless until his body is restored." He stated, still not reflecting a single sentiment. But he couldn't fool Frigga. She knew he was shattered, in every possible way. She knew he still didn't believe in what she said.

"You're a good son. We mustn't lose hope that your father will return to us." Frigga said, taking Odin's hand in hers. "And your brother." Loki stared at her in confusion. "What hope is there for Thor."

"There is always a purpose to everything your father does."

Loki felt defeated. He looked down for a moment and then stood up. There was nothing wrong enough that Thor could do to let Odin believe he is not the worthy son. Although, Loki had no hope left that he could possibly win over Odin, he at least hoped that people realised what a foolish man Thor is. But it seemed quite impossible.

He left Odin's bedside and walked away. But before he could leave, the doors open and he sees guards kneeling in front of him while an old man steps in with Odin's spear. He kneels right in front of Loki, raising the spear to him. Loki furrowed his brows, bewildered and turns back to look at his mother.

"Thor is banished. The line of succession falls to you now. Until Odin awakens, Asgard is yours."

Loki looked back and slowly extended his hands to take the spear and once he holds it, an unfamiliar feeling runs through his body. He got what he wanted for the first time. Being a choice.

But he wasn't truly satisfied; no, not at all. He knew very well he was the second choice and the day Thor returns, he'll be king.

Things will go back to how they were. Loki couldn't let that happen.

This moment Loki realises that all these years Odin treated him unfair because he always saw him as a frostgiant but what if he proves it Odin that he'll never ever be like them?

He could destroy the whole race of Jotuns that Odin and Thor could never succeed at. And this would make him believe that he was the worthy son. Maybe it was possible to be the son Odin always wanted.

Loki smiled, mischievously as he walked out. The feeling of ecstasy was rising in his body and the hope was finally becoming real again.

It was so toxic, really. Loki desperately wanted a hope that one day, he could be Odinson. And today he got one.

But did he need to be Loki Odinson?

___________________

"Loki, what are you doing here?" Thor asked, surprised to see his brother on earth. "I had to see you." He answered shortly, his eyes droopy as he talked. "What's happened? Is it Jotunheim? Let me explain to father-" Thor looks at him, worried, stuttering.

"Father is dead." Loki cuts him of with a heartbreaking lie.

Thor searches for a glint of lie in Loki's eyes but he couldn't find any. Loki was the god of lies after all. "What?" Thor breathes out, his heart still in disbelief.

"Your banishment. Threat of a new war. It was too much for him to bear."

"You mustn't blame yourself, I know that you loved him. I tried to tell him so but he wouldn't listen." Loki said, laying out an explanation for Thor's made up situation when really, Loki was describing his own without even knowing.

"So cruel to put the hammer within your reach knowing you could never lift it. The burden of throne has fallen to me now." Thor looked up at him, hurt. He couldn't believe what he wished to have all his life had been given to him. To Loki.

"Can I come home?" Thor asked, his voice filled with hope. "The truce with Jotunheim is conditional upon your exile."

Thor asked for another way, not wanting to accept what he had gotten. "Mother has forbidden your return."

"This is goodbye, brother. I'm so sorry." He says, shaking his head.

Thor felt guilt wash over him. His heart dropped and his mind had just stopped working. All he could think of was the last words he spoke to his father. He couldn't even tell him how much he loved him. That was exactly what Loki wanted Thor to feel.
To have no reason to think that there was anyone else to blame but him.

"No. I'm sorry. Thank you for coming." Thor said, tears threatening to spill. Seeing the look in his eyes, Loki internally debated whether he still wanted to do so. Did he still want to hurt him?

'He deserves it.' He thought to himself as he spoke, "Farewell, brother." With those words, Loki turned and left.

He made himself remember all that he suffered those years to stop himself from debating. A smirk made its way on his lips when he realised he had gotten what he wanted.

No friends, no family. No support and the only feeling was betrayal within when what he needed was all of those the most. Loki let Thor believe that it was all he had. Himself. He made him believe his mother had turned away from him, just like he did all his life. He made Thor believe that he had taken away all that he wanted his entire life, just like Loki did.

Thor took away all the love and affection Loki craved all his life and now, Loki had taken away what Thor cherished about himself. His support and his confidence.

Now that Loki thought of it, he was beyond satisfied. It was time that Thor finally understood what he felt all these years. The withdrawal of family's love and support at the time he needed it the most.

He was alone and in pain.