Suicide Squad: Parent Scenarios

How They Became Your Parents

A/N- Warning some drug use. 

Joker & Harley Quinn- One cold, dark night, Joker and Harley were out for usual "date night" at his club, the Smile & Grin. A young female in her mid-20's, was walking outside of the club, carrying a small bundle of blankets. A few of Joker's men, who were outside guarding, saw the young woman drop the bundle in a basket and ran away. One of the men went by the basket and saw a baby, crying and was naked. He took the blanket and wrapped you up with before calling Frost, Joker and Harley's top bodyguard. "Mr. Frost? We have a problem." The man said. "Where at?" "Outside, sir." "Alright. I'll let the boss know and I'll handle it." He said as he went to inform Joker.  "Boss? There's a problem outside. I'm going to handle it. Is there anything you or Harley need?" "No, Frosty. Now go handle that problem." He said not paying attention.  "Alright. What's the problem that you guys need me?" He said annoyed. "Well sir. We saw a young woman carrying some blankets but dropped them in this basket, sir. As we got closer to the basket, well sir. We found a baby." He said as he gave you over to him.  He looked at you with his green eyes. "What are you going to with the baby, Mr. Frost?" "I'm going to give her/him to the boss and he'll decide what to do." He said as swaddled you and went inside the club. 

"So did you take care of that problem, Frosty?" Joker asked as he took a shot of scotch. "Sort of sir. There was something that the guys and I found something." "Well what the hell is it?!" He yelled, making you cry. "Frosty? What in the name of Batman was that sound?" "Well sir, it is a baby. The guys saw a young woman dropped the child of in a basket and just ran away. "Let me see the kid."  Frost handed you over to him so he could examine you. "Apparently the "mommy" didn't care to clothed or diaper the kid. Shows how much she "cared."  Joker looked at you as you snuggled into him. "Here. Take it and get some-" "Puddin'? What are you and Frosty have behind your back. "It's nothing my queen. Now why don't you sit down and order something to eat for both of us, okay?" He cooed. You started to whimper because you wanted the "green-hair" man. "Puddin'? Did you hear that?" "Hear what, Harley?"  "It sounded like a baby's whimper." "You're dreaming doll. There's no-" "Ahhhh! Look at the cute baby! Can we keep it?" "Harley. You know we are not parents of the year. Plus we don't have the "parenting skills" to take care of this baby. I'll have Frosty-" He was cut off by seeing his queen run-off with you in her arms. "Harley! Harley!" He yelled as he ran after the two of you.  Harley hid behind a door as Joker went through each room. You began to cry, which Joker heard and found you and Harley. "Please Puddin' don't hurt y/n." She said. You looked at her as she said your name. "Y/n? You named the baby, y/n?" "Yes. I always wanted a baby named y/n ever since I was kid. That name and Lucy."  "Look Harley. I know that I'm not the best with words, but maybe we can keep y/n and raise her/him as our own." "Really Puddin'?"  "Yes. Plus it would be nice to have another clown to add to our little family." He cooed at you, making you giggle.  All three of you returned to the booth where there was a purple onesie and a diaper on the seat of the booth. "Care to the honors with me?" Your new daddy asked your new mommy. "I would love to. Come here, my sweet little y/n." She cooed as she laid you down on your blanket. After you were changed your mommy swaddled you up and held you as your daddy watch you snuggle into her and went to sleep. 

Katana &  Diablo- After Grace had died, Diablo thought he would never love again or have a family, but that all changed when Katana came into his life. They dated, got married and now they are about to welcome a baby.

Your mommy was in the ER  with your daddy. "You're doing great honey. Our little angel will be here soon." He said to encourage her as she came to her last push and you were born. "Oh my, Katana. She's/he's so beautiful." Your daddy said. "Let me see her/him." She said, for she knew some English.  The nurse cleaned you off and gave you to your mommy. She speaks in her native language that you are so beautiful. "I'll be right back, my love. I have to tell our friends about y/n's arrival." He said as he gave her a kiss. He walked out into the waiting to see Harley and Joker, Deadshot, Killer Croc, Dr. Moone and Col. Flag. "Well? Is the baby here?" Everyone asked. "Yes. Our little angel is has entered the world. The doctors are taking care of Katana and the baby now." "Congratulations!" All of them said, except for Joker, who rolled his eyes.  "We can do two at a time, so Harley, do you-" "Come on slow pokes!" "Women." Joker said as he and your daddy went back to see you. "Hey Katana. Is this the baby?" She said, pointing at you. "Yes, Harley. Would you-" Your mommy said but was cut off as she watched your daddy place you in her arms. "Aw, you are just cutest whittle baby. Yes you are. Yes you are." She cooed at you. You were looking around the room when you saw Joker. "I think the baby wants to see you, Mr. J." She said as handed you over to him. He never had any emotions, but once he held you, he wanted to keep all to himself. He just smiled at you as you cooed at him. "Aw. Now I want a baby." Harley said. "Take it easy, Pooh. In time we will have a Joker Jr. running around." "No I want a girl!" "Harley, don't start this crap again." With a fight about to break loose, you cried in Joker's arms, getting everyone's attention. "I'm sorry, y/n. Uncle J didn't mean to scare ya." He whispered to you, which calmed you down. He handed you back to your daddy. "Well my queen. I do believe we have a date night to get ready for. Thanks for inviting us and congrats on the kid." He said as looked at you one more time, where you gave him a gummy smile.