Nu'Four: Start again, with me (Ren)
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The sound of air lingers inside my ear. Light touching my skin.
I felt bad.
I felt bad with my life seeing that this will be the last day I can gaze upon in this world. I've decided. No turning back. No doubts..
Everyone hated me. From my parents up to school. Everyone think I'm a mess. The time that my parents divorced, my dad remarry. And that life became a disaster to me. Of course she loves my father so much. So much that she wants to push everyone away just to have him alone.
But what about me? My father is the only one I treasure the most. What will happen to me if he's gone?
Yes. That's why I'm here.. That's why I came up on doing the easiest way..
End my life.
I closed my eyes as I step on the railings, holding it firmly. I breathed heavily, counting one to ten to calm myself. This is it.
"Hey you! Go down!!!" I gasps, holding back to the railings and look at the guy standing at the door side of this building.
"I said go down lady!!!" he yelled again, frowning vigorously as he walk over to me. I panicked.
"Don't!" I pleaded. "Don't come near."
"Just get down here and I won't harm you."
"No." I firmly said. "Let me end my life."
He stood there without saying anything. Just staring at me just like a wet puppy on the street. I felt somehow uncomfortable so I step out on the railings to pleased him. So what, I can do it later after he's gone.
"I'm here, happy?" I said, irritated. He shook his head continuously and walk over to me. I frown when he put all the stuffs in his hand to me.
I stared at him, with a questioning look. "What's this?"
He smiled and quickly turn around. "Help me carry those things and come to me."
"And why would I do that?" I dropped all the stuffs in the ground, not thinking that it might break it. He stop in his track and stares at me again.
"Look what you've done! Hyung will going to kill me! It's our one month supplies!" he rushed to get the things scattered around the ground.
"I won't say sorry." Was all I said.
He then stood up. "Oh yeah, I know that. But can't you just put it down without getting mad?"
"Who do you think is the reason why I got mad? It's you right? If you didn't come and stop me-"
"Then why did you plan to do it."
"Do what?"
"Ending yourself as pathetic as I can think."
I quickly ignore his gaze and said. "I know right. I'm a pathetic person. That's why I'm ending my life."
"But instead, you-"
"It's because I got irritated. Now, can you just go?"
"Not unless you'll come to me."
"Who are you anyway? I didn't know you in the first place!"
"You should ask that before planning to jump."
"What?"
He put the things to the ground again and walked in front of me, grabbing both my shoulders. "Who am I? Aren't you curious on why I came here in the first place? Do you know why I'm here? Of course not. Because your mind is polluted with attempting suicide. You don't see good luck in your life. You plan to jump because you're too tired of dealing your problems.. Then, go ahead.."
He turned away and I was left speechless. He's right.. But why am I doubting now?
"Go ahead and jump! What are you waiting for! That's what you want, right? Be called as pathetic. Do you know what will going to be the reaction of your parents when they see their daughter's flesh scattered on the street? Do you know that you'll cause so much traffic with that? And what will they say to you?"
That's when I broke down. My dad, what will he think of me when he saw me? He won't forgive his self for sure. Why didn't I realize that?
I heard a small footsteps coming, and before I realize, I saw a pair of hands offering me a handkerchief.
"What will I feel if I didn't stop you from doing it? It'll surely hunt me down for the rest of my life. Here, use this to wipe your tears."
Crying, I took his handkerchief. "But it won't wipe off my problems. It stays at it is.. I can't live along."
"It won't resolve our problems, but it gave us comfort. Even if we're about to lose ourselves, there's still someone who'll come in our way and become our own handkerchief to wipe our tears."
"Thank you."
"No worries.."
"But..."
"Go on, what's bugging you?"
"I don't think there's still a reason to live. Everyone hated me. Also my dad. He thought I'm not doing my best in school because my stepmom keeps babbling false information about me to destroy my dad's trust to me. What am I supposed to do now? Now that I'm all alone, now that I felt much weaker realizing my mistakes.."
"I'm here."
"I don't understand.." I stood up and gaze in the sky to refresh my mind. "Of course you're here. But what about tomorrow? How am I supposed to live without someone who loves me? As I said, no one dares to talk to me, even in school. They are not like you.. They won't offer me a hand when I got tripped with a stone, instead, they will laugh at me. They won't become my handkerchief but my tears. Obviously they won't save me."
"That's why I'm here." He repeated again. He step closer and reach for my hand. "Continue your life with me."
a/n: ADVANCE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO REN!! I can't post this on Nov. 3 T.T
Totally busy... I hope you enjoy this :)
