Don't Tell Dad (Phan)

Chapter 6

"Hey Phil!" PJ giggled as he saw Phil pushing through the crowd of shoppers towards them.

"Hey PJ!"

"You're looking very sexy today Phil," Chris said, winking. Phil laughed.

"Not as sexy as you, tiger,"

PJ pouted. "Stop it Philly. He's mine,"

And then Phil thought about Dan for the thousandth time since receiving that text.

"So where do you wanna go?" He asked, trying to ignore the burning in his chest.

"Well, diva PJ here insists he needs a Totoro toy, so we're gonna have to find one,"

PJ smiled like a little kid. "Pleeeeaase help me Philly,"

***

It was two hours later when they found one. The two hours had been hell for Phil. He was constantly on the verge of either crying or punching them in the face.

It was all:

"Oh, Dan would look good in this shirt,"

"Dan loves this book,"

"Dan wants a new mug... Maybe we could look for one,"

And when they found the Totoro plushie, it was the final straw.

"Dan has one of these too!"

"Just shut. Up. About Dan! Shut up about Dan fucking Howell!" Phil yelled.

He could feel anger and guilt churning in his stomach and he felt sick. He shouldn't have shouted. But there was heat rising in his cheeks and his clenched fists were shaking.

"All you're fucking talking about is Dan! Shut the fuck up!"

PJ took a step forward. "Phil, what's wrong? Is it about Dan?"

"No shit Sherlock," Phil spat.

"Phil what is it?"

"I don't want to fucking talk about it. I'm going home," tears streamed out of his eyes as Phil turned around and walked out. He heard footsteps running behind him.

"Phil stop! You're not going anywhere until you've told us what's wrong." PJ had tears in his eyes. Chris quickly wrapped his arms around him and glared at Phil.

"Come back to mine and explain," Chris said harshly.

Phil sighed, and suddenly he just wanted to sit and cry for hours. Maybe he should tell them.

***

"So, Phil, what is it?" Chris was sat across from Phil on his bed, Pj's head buried in his shoulder.

"It's Dan," tears already stained Phil's cheek. He wasn't sure why.

"Well, what about him?"

"Is PJ ok? I'm sorry I shouted Peej."

"He's fragile," Chris growled.

"The thing with Dan is... I really like him. Like, like like him," Phil whispered and he started crying again.

"That's not a reason to make my boyfriend cry!" Chris yelled.

"And last night, I-I told Louise I had a crush on him and... and then he texted me telling me not to contact him again," Phil wanted to scream. The tears were falling and Chris's duvet had a wet patch just below Phil.

"Oh. Phil... you knew it wasn't a good idea, right? You knew it wouldn't happen?" Chris's voice was soft and slightly reprimanding, like talking to a kid in nursery.

"Yeah. But I just... I thought.. maybe." Phil couldn't see Chris's face through his tears.

"I know what will make you feel better. Hot chocolate and Adventure Time. Peej," he gently shook the boy cuddled against him "do you want hot chocolate?" PJ nodded and sniffled. He was too cute, Phil thought.

A few minutes later and Phil was huddled in a blanket fort with Chris, PJ, and three steaming mugs of hot chocolate. Chris was wearing a cute Jake beanie, PJ was cuddling his Totoro and Phil was smushed in the middle of them like a super happy sandwich.

They sang along to the theme tune, and Phil felt the weight in his stomach lift slightly.

"Guys?"

"Yeah Phil?" PJ glanced away from the TV.

"What, what should I do... about Dan?"

"Phil... it's his loss, really. You deserve better than someone who will ditch you if they find out you have a crush on them. Seriously."

"I agree," said Chris.

"But... I can't just forget him!"

"Phil, it's gonna hurt, but it will hurt more if you try to hold on,"

Phil nodded, numb.

"Okay."

***

That's how the next few weeks went. Phil always thought about Dan, but he didn't tell PJ or Chris that. He tried to occupy himself by chatting with Emma and Luke, and laughing with Tyler and Troye, and he even phoned Louise most nights, but there was a constant nagging emptiness that seemed to say

Hey. You miss Dan. You want Dan. You won't be complete without Dan. Dan doesn't want you. Dan Dan Dan Dan...

Phil told it to shut up. Dan didn't even sit near him in Art anymore; he sat with Joe and Alfie, and never even glanced towards Chris and Phil at the window. When the lesson was over, he said goodbye to Joe and Alfie, and left.

He still sat with them at lunch, though that had nothing to do with Phil. He seemed constantly on edge, nervous and frustrated. He didn't say a word to Phil.

Slowly Phil began to mend. He sealed all the cracks that Dan had put in him.

And at the New Years party he fell into a thousand pieces again.

A/N:

Guys!! Nearly 50 reads :D

I literally can't believe people are reading this crap.

Also I really like getting feedback so.. What do you think so far? Did it escalate too quickly? Tell meh!

Thanks to everyone who reads this :'D

Love you bitches!