Hurting [Y/NxBTS]

Chapter Eleven: Retracing my Steps

School is stressful I didn't enjoy it either which didn't help anything. It didn't help that it only added to the amount of stress I was facing after school as well. My life was a wreck, a trainwreck.

Before I left home I found my bra hanging from behind the sofa, so now I'm curious. What the fuck happened cause I don't remember taking a bra off.

Now realising, Jungkook was a lot more friendly towards me. I didn't understand why either.

Why was he acting nice? More importantly, why was he flirting with me.

Did a drink last night? I remember going to the bar, but only to buy some sprite. Damn, when you can't even trust yourself to do something right.

Maybe those thoughts or 'visions' were things that happened last night, cause Jungkook was in them.

So it wasn't me falling for him, it was a reality. Thanks, Yana, that helps me a lot. What is Hoseok going to think and he knows I can't keep secrets from him.

I slept with someone I don't even like. Without Hoseok, my life went downhill so fast. It's worrying actually.

Ok, I need to calm down. I don't even know if I slept with Jungkook or not. Even though, he was grossly touchy with me while I still had a towel around my body.

Wait, so if I did sleep with him, that means I'm no longer a virgin. What will I tell Hoseok when he comes back?

Hey Hoseok, guess what? I lost my Virginity to someone other than you.

What will I tell my brother and my family?

Hey guys, I lost my virginity to a guy who's known to force himself on girls.

Well, rumoured.

Oh, bro-bro. I slept with your friend. I know Jungkook was meant to babysit, but worry I was the one on top of him.

Ok-ok, I need to calm down, most likely nothing happened. Even though everything pretty much makes perfect sense. Nothing happened.

Honestly, I'm scared to confront him about it. What if something did happen and he boasted to his friends. I'm doomed. Ok, I can't face him now, later. Right now, I have a lesson to get too.

As I walked through the school hallway, the closer I got to my classroom the more students started to stare at me.

Do they know what I did? Cause I don't know myself and if I do find out, I wouldn't want to know.

Wait, a minute. I begin to squint my eyes to see if I'm seeing who I think I'm seeing. Jungkook? I touch his shoulder, it wasn't him, just some student.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

"Hey, aren't you that girl? Damn, I heard you're a freak."

"Um, excuse me?"

"You know," he started to hump against the wall.

"I-ii think you got the wrong person," I said quietly, my voice stuttering slightly.

A sick feeling arose within me I wanted it to stop. I quickly walk away from him, but just as I did, he shouted out something inaudible.

Truthfully, I didn't want to hear any more of what that guy had to say he was a jerk.

At least thanks to him, I now know I did sleep with Jungkook. I can't hold the conversation with him any further away I need to talk to him now.

Right now my dignity is more important than a stupid lesson. How will I find this manipulative fool?

Awkwardly, I went up to a random student and asked if they knew where Jungkook was. The first and second was a bust; however, the third is always a charm.

Jungkook was in English, so he's not going to be missing anything significant. Pretty much a win, win situation.

Peeking through the door window, I quickly caught Jungkooks attention. It helped that he was located near the door as well. I was able to hear him ask his teacher to go to the toilet, thankfully the teacher persisted.

A great way to get out of English and ditch might I add.

"Yana, hey what's up?"

"Follow."

"Dang, what's with you?"

I grabbed his shirt and began pulling along. I found an empty, old supply room a few classes away from his.

"Why are we in here? Were is the lights?"

"Shut up," I say, whispering loudly. I then flick the lights on, "I should be the one asking all the questions here Jungkook."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jungkook, please don't lie to me right now."

"Why would I lie to you?"

"Just please, promise."

"Ok, I promise."

For a while I stared into his eyes, watching them glisten back at me. I didn't have the strength to ask him, but I needed to. I had no other choice. I wanted to find out the truth, whether I liked it or not.

"...Did I..."

"Did I?"

"Did I..."

"Come on Yana, spill."

"...Fuck ok, did I sleep with you!"

"Wait, what?"

"Did I sleep with you, last night."

"No," he laughed seemingly chill like, "why would you think that?"

"Because...I thought."

"You thought wrong sweetheart you're not my type," he said bluntly while he gently flicked my chin.

"Damn...I get it." Where did that even come from what the hell? "This guy said something about me being a freak, and then he started humping the wall. It made me very vicarious about everything."

He was uncomfortably silent for a while. His face had the expression of regret and guilt. I could tell, but he held it back very well other may not have realised.

"Is everything ok?" I went to touch his should, but he hesitated.

"Ye-ye, I'm fine. Continue."

"I wouldn't know what I would do or tell my boyfriend if we did something together. He'll feel so betrayed I couldn't do that to him you know."

He nodded in reply, "Ye..."

"My life would be ruined...honestly."

"Mhm," he gulped slightly before pulling back to his usual face, with a slight smirk, "Hey, can I get back to class now?"

"Erm, ye..."

"Hey," He ruffled my hair a bit, "Nothing happened, ok?"

"Ok," I smiled.

"Bye."

"Bye?"