Sebastian Michaelis x Male Reader

XI

There is some smut in here.

***

"How long do you intend to remain in here?" Sebastian asks me softly.

"As long as it takes," I reply, murmuring into my pillow.

"As long as what takes?" I can hear Sebastian step into the room, his shoes making a gentle "thud" with each step he takes. "Are you still mourning over Trancy?"

"You wouldn't understand," I spit. "You're just a soulless demon."

There's a moment of silence as I nearly regret my harsh statement. I know I shouldn't be mean to Sebastian, but he doesn't care about anyone but me, and I need that to change if only for a little while. I also won't have him try to force me to stop caring about Alois. "I see," he says softly. "Allow me to be on my way then."

"You don't have to leave if you don't want to," I tell him softly.

"Oh, but I want to," he spits.

I pull Jasper and Pluto closer to me and sigh. "Are things really starting to fall apart now?" Jasper meows softly in reply and crawls up onto my face. How can I help but giggle? "You always know how to make me feel better." Pluto licks the back of my neck, tickling me, and then nuzzles it. "You're the only ones."

"Mister (y/n)," a shrill voice calls into my room. "What are you doing with Pluplu?"

I look over at Mey-rin and sigh internally. Am I really going to do this? "We're taking a nap before I take him out for a walk. I hope that's ok. I know I normally do all of the housework here because you're so blind all you can do is mess things up. And I know I'm now the one who has to supervise everything that Finney does outside so that he doesn't destroy the place. And I know that I have to lock Bardroy out of the kitchen so that something that's actually edible might be prepared for the spoiled Young Master. But please, let Sebastian do those things for once. He doesn't seem to be mourning the loss of anyone dear to him. He's much more capable of directing this incompetent staff than I could ever be. Go bother him and leave me be."

"Mister (y/n)..." Oh God...I think she's going to cry. I'm such a dick. And not only to Sebastian. "Do you really feel that way about us?"

I should bite my tongue. I should take it all back. I should act as I normally do out of kindness and patience, not anger. I should behave like one would expect an angel to. But if I can't save Alois like I promised I would, then that is proof that I am not an angel. I'm just a sin, a stain. And I suppose it's time I started acting like what I really am. If only I knew what that was... "I'm not the only one."

"Why are you being so mean, (y/n)? This isn't like you at all!" she screams.

"I...just realized what a filthy place this is."

I pack up another jacket and then take my luggage out to the backyard. Pluto is waiting for me there, as is Sebastian. "What are you doing?" he asks me. The gentle tone he normally carries when addressing me is gone. That Sebastian must only come out when he's getting what he wants.

"I'm leaving," I tell him.

"Why do you think you are leaving?"

"Why do I think?" I repeat. Sebastian smirks and steps toward me. "I don't want to be here anymore. Ciel is not the kind of master that I wish to serve. I do not think I could be happy here any longer."

"Do I not make you happy?"

Shit. He got me...but not completely. "I do not believe you can make me happy as long as there is someone else more important to you than I am. I am leaving."