Not Fun

Lunch

"Mmm," you moaned, "this helps," you spoke with a mouthful of kebab.

"Yeah I thought so," Tom looked at you with a smile, knowing he could cheer you up, cheered him up, "so what are you gonna do?" You shrugged in response, trying to focus on the grease filled bread in front of you. "Will you change class?"

"No it's the only one available and I can't postpone graduation. Mum will kill me,"

"She'd have a heart attack knowing what you were doing right now"

"Eating my feelings?" He shoved you.

"Seriously. What's going to happen? You can't get expelled. I'll die without you,"

"Oh please you've already told Harrison,"

"...no I haven't," he scoffed but it was clear that he was guilty. But you showed him a snapchat you saved from Harrison saying You're a fucking idiot😂, "okay sorry about that but tell me,"

"I don't know what I'm going to do. The only logical thing I can think of right now is just staying in his class and never bringing it up again,"

"Oh okay. That might work," he leaned back against the bench.

"Really?"

"Of course not you bellend!" He pushed the paper out of your hands.

"There was like 2 bites left on that!" You complained.

"You can't just avoid him," he let you have a sip of his drink.

"If he wants to talk about it then I'll talk about it. But I'm just here to study and graduate. So that's all I'll focus on doing," you told him. He dropped the subject and everything was calm for moment but then it stopped there he was walking towards you. Thomas.

"Hello," he gulped. No one spoke for second. What was supposed to happen? Tom had a mouthful of food and slowly chewed, he nudged you to make you speak.

"Hi! How are you?" You blinked a few times. Was it flirting? Nervousness? Who's to say? It was probably both.

"I'm alright, how are you doing?"

"Uh..fine. Good, very good...good," Tom frowned at you.

"Too much," he whispered quickly.

"Good to hear," Thomas paused, "could I steal you for one moment?" He was feeling just as nervous as you. The situation he put himself in could cost him everything he's worked so hard to get. You nodded and Tom just stayed by your side.

"Oh did you want me to-"

"Just piss off!" You muttered to him and he giggled his way to another table. Thomas smiled and sat by you. It really was a coincidence to find you there but he needed to clear the air.

"I'm..so sorry," Thomas began, "I didn't know you were a student, I should have assumed but students don't often go to jazz clubs," he didn't want to find an excuse for sleeping with you because he knew that he really wanted to and he's feels so guilty for not feeling guilty.

"Fair call. It takes two to..y'know..tango so I was of course responsible as well," you cleared your throat. Very uncomfortable.

"I wanted to know how'd feel about.."

"Keeping my mouth shut?" You finished his sentence. You both laughed.

"There's not a lot of ways to put it eloquently but yes. This is my first job and I feel like I already shot myself in the foot," he looked down in shame. How could he be so stupid?

"Don't worry. I won't say anything and I won't take advantage of anything either. We can forget about it," you gulped, you didn't think you could forget him now. He was amazingly gentle and the perfect amount of rough at the same time.

"Thank you. I really really appreciate it," he sighed with relief and stood up, that's when Tom came over, he didn't look too please, "I'll you next week,"

"Bye," you watched Thomas leave, accidentally letting your eyes drift to his toned butt.

"Oh keep it in your pants," Tom groaned.

"I fear I may have to," you sighed.

"Do you feel better?" You didn't.

"Yeah," you lied. A part of you felt really upset about being rejected.
You knew that it was the right thing to do. It was just one night, just one stupid night. It's all you needed. But Thomas was different, you felt different with him and appreciated his entire essence in and out of the classroom. What was going on? It's not like you had a crush on the guy. He is gorgeous, there's no denying that. Perhaps it's only lust.

Tom knew you were lying. He could always tell but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable. You had your reasons for not being true about your feelings and so did he.