MAY, 1993, SEATTLE, WA
THE PHONE CALL came in the middle of the night. It seemed, looking back on it, like an appropriate time to receive that kind of a call. Nothing good ever happened in the middle of the night when the moon was high amongst the stars against a satin navy sky and the streets were quiet.
The Narcan was sitting in Lindy's nightstand drawer. She was acutely aware of it in a way that made her squirm, wondering if there would come a day when she would actually have to pierce through skin with it.
The call woke her up from a rather nice dream. In it, she'd been swimming in the Atlantic, waving at Kurt who passed by on a boat. Kurt's dream-self had just been suggesting that she climb out of the water and join him on his boat when the shrill ring of her telephone rattled Lindy awake.
Knowing it must have been urgent, she shoved the covers off her body and ran into the kitchen, snatching the phone off of its hook and raising it to her ear. She was fighting grogginess as she spoke, rubbing her eyes with her fists.
"Hello?"
"Lindy? It's Krist."
"Krist, my god. What happened?" Lindy's eyes flickered to the clock hanging at a slight tilt on the wall, its hands indicating that it was several minutes past midnight.
"It's Kurt, Lindy. He overdosed tonight."
Her chest spasmed and Lindy clutched at her heart, raking her nails over her skin through the t-shirt she wore. She supported her body against the wall but could still feel herself slipping away.
"W-what? Is he . . . is he . . ."
There was no way that he could be dead. There was no single fucking way that Kurt had gone and died on her, throwing away everything when they had just been reunited. She wouldn't have accepted it even if Krist had said the words to her right then, announcing Kurt's passing. Even if he was dead, Lindy would have found a way to get to him just so that she could beat the hell out of him for leaving.
"He's alive. He didn't want anyone to know it happened, but Courtney called me hysterical because she thinks I need to talk to him soon. His mom and sister drove over from Aberdeen and were at the hospital with him."
Lindy balled her fist up, pressing it to her temple and kneading her knuckles into her head. "Fuck. Fuck. Was it bad?"
"They said he wouldn't stop talking about Hamlet."
She mashed her lips together, resisting the urge to spew out every curse that she'd accumulated in her vernacular. She wanted so badly to get in her car and drive to him, to shake him and scream at him and beg him to stay on earth rather than remove himself from the only place where he could be beside her.
"Krist, I'm so scared for him," Lindy said, her voice no more than a whisper in the faint darkness of her kitchen. She felt alone, standing there with no one to return to in her bed.
"I am too, Lindy. He's scaring the hell out of all of us. I can't even begin to think of what will make him stop all this."
"I thought that maybe being with me would have been enough," Lindy muttered. She had finally confessed out loud the demon that had plagued her since she'd gotten back together with Kurt. In a ridiculous sort of way, she was jealous of the role that heroin played in his life. Kurt needed it more than he needed her.
"It's gone way past that point. Don't blame yourself for that," Krist told her, sounding sad. He had known for weeks about Lindy and Kurt's hidden affair. His best friend had not been able to keep it from and as instinctual as he was, he'd always known those two would find a way back to each other. But that's where his guessing of what Kurt would do next stopped.
