LEE DIDN'T WANT a funeral. He had made this specifically clear to both Lindy and Trae in his last days, insisting that all he desired was to be buried next to Hannah without a fuss.
They would uphold his wish. Trae had selected a beautiful casket of light mahogany and Lindy ended up in charge of finding a suit for Lee to be buried in. After some digging, she found the same one that he had married Hannah in, hanging far back in his closet. She recognized it from the photographs. Although it fit his wasted body like a trash bag now, Lee still somehow looked good in it, a visage of the person he had once been.
In the two short days after Lee had taken his last breath, Lindy found herself standing in the graveyard that she had last visited with Kurt. Now, she stood alongside her brother and his wife, little Hannah in her arms as she watched her father's casket being lowered into the ground.
There were no other spectators. It was only the four of them at the gravesite, silent as Lee's casket disappeared into the wet Washington earth. Once it was fully out of sight, Lindy turned away. She didn't think she could stand the sadness for another minute.
If she could have had a say, she would have at least invited some of Lee's old work buddies. His parents had long ago died and with Lee having been rather distanced from his family, none of them were invited. Lindy wondered if she and Trae would face retribution down the line for making that move.
Everyone in her life had been loving and respectful upon hearing the news that she'd lost her father. Lindy had called Krist first, still not confident enough to phone the house number Kurt had left with her. He'd told Kurt, who had called and passionately insisted he come watch the burial with Lindy. Even Krist had added that he and Shelli wanted to come to give their support.
She'd told them no. Out of respect for Lee's request of course, and because ultimately, all Lindy wanted was to be alone with her brother as they said one last goodbye to their father.
Once the casket was fully inside of the ground, Lindy heard Trae and Allie's footsteps approaching behind her. She kept her back turned, occupied with chewing on her thumbnail and staring out into the misty distance.
There was something calming about Washington state that Lindy had never appreciated before. It was gritty and untamed, but at the same time soft and beautiful. It was a paradoxical paradise. No matter what she had said in the past, she was glad to have grown up here.
"You okay?" Trae asked, clasping a hand on her shoulder.
"As fine as I can be," she answered.
Lindy had been worried at first that Trae would resent not having been in the room when Lee passed, but she was surprised to learn that her brother was more than grateful that it had been her who had sat with Lee as he'd died. Trae said it had something to do with the final reparation, the last suture sewn in the wound of Lindy and Lee's once mangled relationship.
She had not revealed to Trae what had gone on in her and Lee's last discussion. He had not asked, so she had been more than happy not to tell. But as they stood in the graveyard, the sound of damp dirt hitting Lee's casket as cemetery workers filled its hole, Lindy made a decision.
"Trae? Can we talk?"
She caught Trae by the elbow, stopping him from following Allie and Hannah to the car. He willingly joined her off to the side, standing next to a cluster of headstones ravaged by overgrown weeds.
"I have to tell you something. I told Dad before he died and it's only right that I tell you now. I can't hide it any longer."
Trae looked concerned but allowed Lindy to speak, saying nothing as he dug his hands into his pockets.
