OCTOBER 4th, 1994, SEATTLE, WA
12:06 am
"IT'S GOT TO be now," Lindy gasped, clawing at her stomach as she leaned over the side of her hospital bed. She was hunched, her knees about to buckle beneath her even though Kurt was trying his best to keep her upright. He'd been rubbing her lower back in soothing circles when Lindy felt another contraction coming on.
It was the strangest sensation, a tugging that was somewhere in her lower body. The pain flared, white hot and kicking up in a way that it had yet to so far.
Lindy had declined any pain medicine. She hadn't done so in high hopes of being brave, or thinking that the epidural would hurt her baby. It was only because she'd seen the needle before and the thought of it plunging into her spine made her nauseous. And even more so, she had a firm desire to remain in control of her body. She didn't want to be able to not feel herself — she needed to know what was happening. She had to be in control, steering at the helm in preparation for whatever stormy waves were coming.
Kurt had of course balked when Lindy refused the medication. He asked if she was crazy and accused her of being a masochist, and she'd laughed. She must have looked crazy to him, laughing through her pain, but she'd only been amused by his slight hypocrisy. There had been times when Kurt himself had welcomed pain with open arms for the same reason that she did then.
A sense of control.
"Lindy, babe, you've got to get on the bed," a voice instructed from somewhere above Lindy's curled frame. She looked up and saw Beth, holding her hands out to her helpfully.
"Right," Lindy panted, struggling to lay back down in her hospital bed when her body was so close to pulling her under heavy darkness. The pain was excruciating, but she was still grateful to know what was happening. She knew that it was coming, teetering on the edge of finality. No more time would be delayed.
"Hi Lindy. Are you ready to have a baby?"
Doctor Jin had walked into the room, positioning a white doctor's mask over the lower half of her face. More people were entering the room behind her, but Lindy was only focused on one person, and that was Kurt. For nine hours he had remained at her bedside, running his fingers through her hair, slick with sweat and doing everything he could to take her mind away from the pain.
As doctors and nurses alike set up around her, Lindy was vaguely aware of Beth pulling one of her legs up. She felt a thrill of fear mingled with her physical suffering.
It's happening so fast, Lindy thought. It had seemingly taken ages for her to get to this point. Between the months of waiting and then the hours leading up to this very moment, she had felt that her baby might have never come. But that inkling worry was long gone.
"Is my brother —," Lindy managed to choke out, but she stopped, silenced by another ripping stab of pain. This time she cried out. Kurt squeezed his eyes shut in response, hating the sound of her torment.
"He's in the waiting room," Beth explained. "Krist and Shelli are here too."
Ordinarily, Lindy would have been delighted to hear that she and Kurt's two closest friends had showed up, but her mind was trained only on ridding her body of the fire swirling in her abdomen and legs. She tried to be silent, grinding her jaw shut and inhaling through her nose.
