What Now?

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written in 2008 

I have finally resolved it.
The glass has been swept under the rug,
the trauma is hidden.
I am absolved from my sin
but yet my mind wanders.
Is this what I want in the end?
And what if I make more blunders?
Can I keep hiding the cuts and blood?
I can leave - move on
or wait, potentially stagnate in my hope.
I pray for love, for rings,
but is this all a hallucination?
A fragile dream
that I will one day clean up
when it is shattered before my eyes?

- starr

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