Someone to trust (Books of the beginning fanfic)

Chapter 20-Can't stay

I was happy to see the beautiful flowers and trees again. Rafe stood in the middle of them with the same playful grin he always has. "Hello, sweetheart," he said and wrapped his arms around me. I let out a sigh of relief. Rafe saw it and pulled back a little so he could properly look at me while still holding me tight. "What is it?" 

"Nothing. I was just scared that you weren't going to be here."

"And why wouldn't I be?"

"Because of what happened in the city."

"Kate, the way you see me now is not the real me. It's just a fragment of my soul. Nothing that happens to my body in the real world would affect me here."

"But what if you get killed? What if you're dying right now and I don't even know?"

"Even that wouldn't stop me from seeing you here, Kate. The new body is just an easy way to be with you all the time and not just at night when you're asleep." I was glad to hear that. At least now I knew that I won't ever completely lose him. I'm not sure if he actually read my mind or just assumed that I was thinking this and responded to it. "However, that does not mean that I will stay here forever."

"What? Why not? You could if you wanted to, right?"

"Yes, but..." He sighed before continuing. "I do want to stay with you, Kate. Just not if it means that I'm keeping you from living your life. The only reason that I'm not letting you go now is that you are in danger. But I can't be part of your life... not anymore." 

"But-"

"No buts, Kate. You need to move on with your life. And I'll do anything I can to make sure that you get the chance to." Tears started to well up. 

"So what does that mean, that you're going to leave me?"

"No, not yet. Only when you and your family are safe again." I tried to hold them back for as long as I could but a few tears still managed to escape. "I meant what I said, Kate. I want you to meet someone else, for you to fall in love, get married and have children. I know that that's a dream of yours." 

I sighed. It was true, ever since I was little I had this ideal picture in my head. But now I don't even care about that kind of future. Without Rafe, every future just feels... empty. "I... I just..." I couldn't hold it anymore and started crying. 

Rafe tightened his grip and put his head in the crook of my neck, whispering in my ear to help me calm down. "Shh. It's going to be okay... It's for the best." I heard his voice break a bit and him swallowing the big lump in his throat. Just by that, I knew that he was having troubles not to cry himself. "Plus, there are tons of guys out there that would make you very happy." I was still crying into his shoulder and clinging onto him. Then  he mumbled to himself, "Probably better than I ever could." I immediately pulled my head off his shoulder and looked him straight in the eyes. 

"Don't ever say that again, you hear? Don't say that, don't think that, don't believe that." To my own surprise, my voice came out clear, stern and with a bit of underlying anger. I wasn't mad at him, just at what he said. I cupped his cheek in my hand and leaned forward to kiss him. 

He was a little hesitant at first. His expression had turned into a surprised one as soon as I started scolding him but soon he melted into the kiss, giving me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside my stomach. I don't know what came over me but I wanted something more. With a pounding heart, I nibbled on his lower lip to ask for entrance. But as soon as I did he pulled away and growled. Immediately my stomach started hurting from all the stress I got in the matter of one second. 'I ruined it,' I thought.

"Goddammit, Kate." He let go of my waist and ruined his hand through his messy hair. "You're making this even harder for me... And for you too." I looked down, ashamed. I tried to make a move and now I regretted it. 

'I should have just stayed still,' I scolded myself. 

Rafe seemed to notice. "What are you thinking, Kate?"

I felt a lump form in my throat. "Can't you just read my mind to find out?" I didn't want to talk. Even in that little question, my voice broke about twice.

"I could but I don't want to. I should respect the fact that I should only know what you chose to tell me. So, what's on your mind?"

"I... I'm sorry." He furrowed his brows in confusion.

"For what?"

"For what I did during the kiss. I know that was stupid. I don't know why I did it, I just-" The words quickly flew out of my mouth before Rafe stopped me.

"Kate." I looked back up at him and he gave me a little smile. "I'm not upset about the kiss. Believe me, I adore kissing you, darling. It's simply that I just said that I will have to leave and the more we do things like that the harder it will be for you to get over me."

"And you don't have to get over me?"

"No, I don't. Falling in love with someone is something you do when you're alive. And you're still alive, Kate. You can still fall in love again. For me it's too late, but not for you." I sighed here we go again, him telling me to love someone else. But I knew that I would never be able to. He started softly stroking my hair. I felt the second wave of tears coming up but before they fell I noticed how the pleasant touch of his fingers turned into a tingling feeling. No real pressure. I tried to touch his hand but my fingers went through. We exchanged a surprised look before Rafe fell to his knees, gripping his head as a few groans of pain escaped his lips. 

"What's going on?"

"I'm not sure. Aaah!" It seemed to be getting worse. Now I could literally see the trees behind him when I looked at him. I wanted to help. I had to help, but I couldn't. Then it hit me. I couldn't, but I knew someone who could. 

"I'm going to get someone who can make you better." He looked up and nodded before being forced to focus on his pain again. The sight made me feel guilty to leave but at the same time, it pushed me to go even faster. And the second that thought went through me I woke up.

Hey, everyone. Another chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. Please, comment, vote and add to your library. Even more important: comment, please. I love seeing your guys' opinions, critic, etc.

And last but not least. What do you think is happening to Rafe? Any theories?

See you all in the next chapter.