Loving You

Chapter 1 - Bless our union

Ali came to my home, all dressed up in his white Shalwar Kameez with both his parents, though I tried my best not to notice.

I also dressed in one of my finest traditional kurtas from Khaadi and a pair of leggings with a matching hijab wrapped around my head intricately and the matching dupatta draped over my neck, shoulders and chest for extra modesty.

Ali gave my mum a bouquet of red roses, which are her favourites. He laughed at all my dad's jokes, especially the bad ones. I brought everyone refreshments including mango juice and samosas on a tray on my wheelchair, careful not to look at Ali and to instead lower my gaze as I was focusing all my attention for placing the tray which I then put on the dining table and proceeded to hand out the glasses with a respectful smile. As I came a little closer to Ali and stretched my hand out to give him the glass, he looked up and smiled as he said thank you in a soft whisper. Ali's parents didn't notice our subtle interaction but are very thankful for the food and praised me with so many prayers and blessings, with Aunty even joking around with me and pinching my cheeks lovingly, which left a little sting but I didn't mind. These are all pretty good signs so far, I thought...

Ali's mum is also good friends with my mum and Ali is actually good friends with my big brother, Abbas so, my parents suspected nothing at first. Then all of a sudden, he asked my father for his permission and blessing.

"Uncle, Sir, I must reveal my true intentions for coming here today. The truth is, Sir, I admire your daughter. She is a wonderful person. We have similar interests and I wish to ask for your permission and blessings to marry her. I swear to God and to you all that if we were to marry, I would protect her, honour her and love her with all my heart."

I smile gently as my eyes kept looking at the floor, refusing to make eye contact. My mum and dad looked at me and each other before smiling a little and nodding.

"My boy, you have indeed made me a very happy father today. However, the only person who can make the final decision is my daughter. Whatever she wants, I'll accept. But my son, you given me such respect by asking me for my permission. I give you my permission and if Zahra says yes, then you shall have my blessing."

Ali smiled gently as he got down on one knee. Suddenly Ali's mum interjected by saying "stop Ali! My sweet baby boy, you are making a big mistake. You cannot marry her otherwise all our grandchildren will be disabled, assuming that you are able to have any. You are young, good and smart, you can find any girl that wants to marry you. Don't waste your life over a relationship that is too difficult for everyone." 

I looked towards his mum with tears prickling my eyes, making them glaze over, threatening to appear at any moment and a lump stuck in my throat that I cannot gulp down.

"If you would please all excuse me." I said as I went to my bedroom and closed the door. I listened to what was happening outside. I heard all the voices mixed together so really I didn't know what exactly was being said because they were all talking over each other. I prayed that if it was meant to be, God will bring me and Ali together.

I hear a knock at the door and am at first very reluctant to answer it. "Ohkty, please open the door." It was Abbas in a soft, concerned manner. He is 26 years old and the complete opposite of me. He was home from working as a police officer for the Christmas holidays and he had obviously just come in from hanging out with some of his friends, to be informed of the tense atmosphere at home.

You know, we are just like your typical siblings, arguing and teasing each other 24/7 but at the same time, maybe because I am disabled or maybe because he is older or both, but there were times when he is genuinely concerned about me and shows such a caring side MashAllah.

I opened the door to let him in and he quickly closed it behind himself, before gently throwing his arms around me in a friendly manner. "Are you Ok, munchkin?" "I know I'm short and younger than you but please don't call me that." I sniffled, seeking comfort within his embrace. "Ok munchkin, but what is going on?" He said, teasing me a little. I explained everything from start to finish. "Sis I support you and whatever you want to do is your decision. I pray Allah brings you two together, you are both great people."

Suddenly everything went quiet and I heard Ali talking to his parents. "Mum, Dad look, I have been thinking about marriage since I was 16 but I wanted to make sure I was ready. Now I am and ever since we met, I have felt something so blessed, so strong and pure with Zahra that I have yet to feel with another woman.

Mum I love you and I don't want to hurt or disrespect you but she makes me so happy. I know this is maybe not how you imagined your daughter in law but please accept my request to marry Zahra. She is everything you want in my future wife and I believe our union has already been blessed by God. I think you would approve of her and even love her if you got the opportunity to know her. But if your heart still does not accept, then at least go and apologise for what you said, I think you really hurt her." This was followed by indistinct whispers and murmurs.

A few minutes later, I heard someone knocking on my door. "Zahra, it's me, Ali. Please can you open up for me. I just wanna talk to you." I asked Abbas what I should do as I'm not allowed to be alone with a guy even and especially near my room. He nodded and whispered that he'll stay here quietly to observe what's going on. I open my bedroom door slowly until it's open just over half way and stick my head through. I wipe my tear stained cheeks with my sleeve. "Ali, maybe your parents are right, maybe we should forget about each other."

"Listen to me, I don't think I have that choice because you are always in my mind, from when I wake up to when I go to sleep. I really don't care about anything else. I want to make you mine, if you'll have me?" "What about your parents?" "I'm sorry about what my mother said. She doesn't mean it at all, she's just very surprised. I've spoken with her and I think she's calm down." A couple of days later, I get a phone call from Ali and he has some important news...

Everyone agrees . We recited our Mutha marriage contract as our official engagement and agree to marry permanently 8 months later by reciting the nikkah in front of all our friends and family in what would be our wedding day.

In our mutha marriage/ engagement, we continue to talk on the phone, text and meet up to discuss the preparations for the big day. A couple of days before our wedding, Ali even took me out on a date to a really nice restaurant as Islamically, we were technically married, just for a short period of time .

I was falling head over heels in love with him but though he was very sweet and charming, I wondered why a young handsome guy like him would want with me, when he could be with anyone...
Shalwar Kameez - Pakistani outfit.
Kurta - A long embroidered Asian style long sleeve shirt/blouse.
Kaadi - popular high end Pakistani clothing brand.
Hijab- What Muslim women wear on their head as a symbol of their devotion to God and of modesty and chastity. Otherwise known as a headscarf.
Dupatta- A silk scarf draped over the neck/chest area or worn directly on top of the head or on top of the hijab to preserve modesty. Indopak item of clothing.
Okhty - Sister in Arabic.
MashAllah- Praise be to God.
Allah- Arabic for God.
Mutha- Temporary marriage nowadays used as an formal engagement where the two people get to know one another in a halal manner without others.
Nikkah - Permanent marriage.