Embrace The Payne

Guess Again, Love.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Louis screams in my face and I open my eyes to see him smiling creepily at me. I shake my head and sit up on my bed when he decides to lay across my legs and stare up at the ceiling, folding his arms in a position as if he's in a coffin and dead.

"Why are you here?" I ask him, raising and eyebrow.

"You mean, 'Louis your so beautiful I don't deserve to have you on my bed and in my life'," he says in a girly voice and I shake my head at him.

"No."

"Sure.. I know you love me but Vanessa, I have a pigeon and his name is Kevin. We're both very happy together right now and I can't afford to lose anything between us or what we have," Louis explains.

I shake my head at him and pull my legs out from underneath him. This kid seriously needs to start exercising. Maybe Niall and Louis can join a gym. Liam runs everyday so he's good. I think Harry gets enough out of punching his mirror, and Zayn?

No. He's all sad and depressed now. I wonder who Michaela even is. I mean come on if she meant that much to him that means they have been together for a while now, right? So I should have gotten to meet her a long time ago. I would have remembered it too.

I only forgot Liam.

But that makes me wonder why it was only him that I forgot. Maybe I'm not even supposed to be here and I'm not supposed to know Liam. But if that were the case then I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't have gotten a record deal with Simon and I wouldn't be sitting in this room with Louis.

"What about Eleanor?" I question him.

"She doesn't know about it so shut up," he whispers and I roll my eyes at him as I stand up and he rolls over underneath the covers and lays his head down on my pillow.

I shake my head at him and walk into my bathroom, stripping off my clothes and stepping into the shower where warm water pours down. I sigh and look at the glass that surrounds the shower. No one can see inside but you can see the outside.

I look through the glass and into the mirror that hangs on the wall of the bathroom before I take a step forward and look at myself clearly.

I can picture myself a thousand ways. Strong, weak, tall, short, thin, fat, tan, pale, ugly or beautiful. Smart or dumb, nice or mean. It doesn't matter, though. No matter what I look like or how I act, it wont change the fact that I'm killing everyone around me.

The only way to stop that is to get out. Get out of their head and get out of their life and after that's done there is no turning back.

This one girl who happens to be me could possibly ruin their lives forever. I know, it's all self conceited sounding but it's true. You've seen these boys when their whole and almost broken. What would it be like to see them break?

Guess I wont have to find out will I?

I shake off the thoughts and quickly wash my hair and body before rinsing off and stepping out of the shower, wrapping a towel around me. I look around and decide to open the bathroom door, taking chances of Louis being out there.

He would probably run out of the room screaming "KEVIN!", though.

I shake my head at the thought and see that Louis has left the room, probably figuring that I'd be out to get clothes at some point. I walk over to my door and lock it, turning around and walking to the closet where I pick out a simple grey "DON'T GO WITH THE FLOW" shirt, dark blue skinny jeans, grey converse, and a grey beanie along with some bracelets.

I pick up a brown bag and put some things I'll need in it and throw it over my shoulder. I walk over to the bathroom again and brush through my hair and let it dry before I walk out of my room and down the stairs.