Embrace The Payne

Zayn's Gone.. In What Kind Of Way?

I sit in the lobby chair, watching as everyone piles into the hospital and around the doctor who holds the clipboard in his hands shakily. I sigh and look to my right to find Rebecca staring at me.

"What?" I question her, confused at the weird look she's giving me. Tears well up in her eyes and I look down to my hands, clasping them together on my lap.

"You look like you don't care about Zayn.." she trails off. I dart my eyes over to her and shake my head angrily. I look like I don't care about Zayn? You have to be kidding me. Of course I don't look like I care.

That means I'll show emotions and emotions are followed by tears and there will be no point in crying if Zayn is okay. He wouldn't want that. I know he wouldn't. So if he's gone why can't he rest in peace? I know I wont.

"I'm done," I state firmly, walking out of the hospital. I feel someone trailing me but I shake it off and continue walking until I find myself at a bridge. Good. Simple but effective. At least I hope so. Let's make this quick shall we?

I shake my head at myself and lean against the side railing of the bridge, feeling the cool sensation of the cement run chills onto my back. I nod to myself and climb up halfway onto the wall before I hear a voice talking.

Great. Niall to the rescue. Well this time I wont be so foolish as to listen to what Niall has to say. I turn around and jump down, looking at the shadows around me. No one? Well I guess I'm going crazy now.

Now? You've been crazy.

Probably.

Now let's get this over now shall we?

I nod to myself and turn back to the cement wall of the bridge, lifting myself up to the edge of it. I balance myself on the top and turn around so my back is facing where I would fall.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, letting my arms stretch out like I was pretending I could fly. I push my arms back a bit and feel myself moving backwards slowly.

The cold night air rushes past me and I smile to myself. Death isn't that bad after all. I open my eyes quickly, looking up at the moon when I feel my back run into something soft but muscular.

I shoot my head over to the familiar blue eyes that belong to Niall. I roll my eyes at him and he sets me down on the ground.

"WHAT THE HELL?" He shouts at me.

"What?" I snap at him, folding my arms over my chest.

"What's the matter with you!? I thought you were done with those thoughts! Done with this! Your life isn't over yet and your already quitting!" he screams.

"I'm not quitting I'm facing reality and reality says 'Go to hell', " I say, raising my voice once again. His eyes widen at my words and I take a deep breath as he stares at me in shock.

He looks at me with tears filling his eyes and walks away from me, sitting on a bench. I didn't know that there were parks at the bottom of a bridge. Isn't that something new?

"Niall.. You need to let me go one day. I have eight day's left now. You can't catch me when I'm laying on that bed and my heart monitor flat lines. You can't bring me back to life. You can't listen to what I'd like to say to you," I explain. He stays silent, looking ahead of him. Staring, actually.

I take a seat on the bench, sitting on the left side as he sits on the right. An open space between us. Big enough to fit all the boys and me.

"Niall. Don't you know how hard it is? You'd be doing the same thing if you were me. I don't want to be on that hospital bed. I want them to just take me now and bury me so no one has to watch me slowly wither away," I add.

He turns to look at me and he scoots closer, wrapping his arm around my waist. I sigh and look up to his blue eyes.

"I love you," he whispers, leaning in toward my lips. I lean back a bit but he pulls me forward into his lips. I hesitate at first but move my lips in sync with his. And here I thought Harry was the one to do this. I always thought he was hiding something from me. He's supposed to be the player. But Niall isn't a player. Niall is a sweet guy.

I pull away from him, taking a breath of air as I turn my head away from him. He's crazy. You can't love someone who's going to die.

"Do you love me?" he questions.

"No. I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't."

"Why can't you?"

"I can't love you guys," I say. He shakes his head but nods, standing up and taking my hand in his as my phone rings. I pull it out of my pocket and raise an eyebrow.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Well then I guess it's true. You did survive that crash. I'll be seeing you very soon Vanessa," someone snickers, hanging up the phone.

"Who was that?" Niall asks me.

"Wrong number?" I guess. He nods and we walk back to the hospital around the block. I sigh to myself and see a man suffering from gunshot wounds being rushed into the hospital. I feel something slap the side of my face and I look up to see Carter throwing carrots at me and Niall.

"Where were you?" Michaela asks, tears in her eyes. I shrug my shoulders and look over to CeCi and Niamh who are both sobbing on Louis' shoulders.

"Why are you throwing carrots at us?" Niall asks.

"Why not?" Carter questions, her voice sounding careless and her facing draining of all it's color. I look over to Liam and see him staring off into space.

"What happened?" I ask.

All eyes shoot over to me and I cock my head to the side, raising an eyebrow. Harry looks at me confused and glances at Niall and then me and then back to Niall.

"Zayn's gone," Rebecca says, jumping into heartbreaking sobs. I look at her as Harry moves to comfort her as she falls apart.

She barely knew Zayn. Wait.. What does she mean Zayn's gone?

I shake my head and walk into Zayn's hospital room, looking around. Sure enough, the bed is cleared off of anything. New sheets and pillow cases were places there. I see a couple blood stains on the floor.

I turn around to the shelf and see a gun set on top. I look around before I take it, shoving it into my pocket.

"Soo..." I trail off, walking into the lobby.

"Where would Zayn even go to?" Louis asks.

"WHERE WOULD HE GO TO?" Harry shouts at Louis, making him look at Harry sadly and a little bit hurt. I shake my head at Louis and look over to Harry. At least he's a bit sensible today to realize where Zayn would go.

I mean isn't it obvious.

He didn't go anywhere.

Not willingly.

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