Until you came along (english)

Chapter 17

"Hello, you are on the voicemail of Magnus Bane, leave a message after the beep ..." 

Alec hung up. It was the next day after the party. It has been dozens of times since he had called Magnus after the evening that had turned to a disaster. He sighed. How to explain to Magnus that all this was a misunderstanding if he didn't want to pick up? 

Depressed, he went back to bed and pulled his blanket up to his chin. He was sad and angry. Sad because he had lost Magnus, and angry because of Jason. Just thinking about him made him mad with anger. Because of him, his relationship with Magnus had deteriorated and even became non-existent. However, Alec couldn't help but think that it was all his fault. If he hadn't organized this party and if he had told Magnus everything from the start, he wouldn't be in this situation right now. 

He closed his eyes and sank deeper under the covers. Then he heard a few little knocks at the door but he didn't answer. The door opened anyway to let appear Isabelle, with Jace. When he saw them, Alec turned to the side of the wall, in order not to see them. 

"I want to be alone," he said. 

 But Isabelle and Jace didn't agree with that. 

 "Alec," Izzy said. "We need to talk about what happened. You need to fix things. You can't stay in your bed in your life!!" 

"I'm fine." 

Jace approached Alec's bed and yanked the blankets. 

"No, you're not," he said. "Look at you, it looks like you've just been buried!"

Alec sat in his bed, irritated. "And what do you want me to tell you, huh? That am I a fool? That I should have talked to Magnus? That I should never have organized this stupid party? That everything is my fault? I already know all of this, no need to remind me?" 

Jace and Isabelle exchanged a sad look, but Alec continued: "Do you want to know something? Maybe I deserve it after all? Maybe I don't have the right to be happy. Maybe ..." 

"Alec, stop!" said Isabelle, firmly. "As you just said, there is no point in repeating what happened all over again. And it would serve no purpose either to blame you, because what is done is done. We can't change the past. What matters is to fix things now."

"Hum Alec?" Jason said. "Can you tell me again who is that fool of Jason? I never heard of him," said Jace.

"Me neither, until he told me about it last week," Isabelle said. 

Alec sighed and turned his head away. Talking about Jason made him nauseous.

"I've known him for a long time ... He ... He always wanted to be with me but I didn't. I keep pushing him away constantly. He stopped for a few weeks but started again not long ago. He will never understand that I don't want to be with him."

"And, you don't know everything, Jace ..." whispered Isabelle. 

"What?" Jace replied. "What happened?" 

Alec didn't look at his friend or his sister in his eyes while he spoke. He felt ashamed. 

"Last week, he wanted to talk to me. I thought it was an ultimate conversation and I could tell him it was over, once and for all. But he caught me by surprise and ... he kissed me." 

"What???," Jace exclaimed. 

"He kissed me," Alec repeated. "We were on a bench, I wanted to leave because he kept telling me that we should be together but he held me back and he kissed me against my will. I pushed him away directly and I hit him." 

"And so you were afraid to confess this to Magnus," Jace concluded.

 Alec nodded. 

"But Alec, Magnus knows you're not unfaithful. He would have understood if you had explained everything to him!" 

"That's what I said !!!" cried Isabelle. 

Alec glared at her. He didn't need to be reminded that he was a perfect idiot. Isabelle realized what she said and spoke more softly. She approached and sat down on the other side of the bed. She took her brother's hand. 

"What I want to tell you Alec is that Magnus is someone understanding. And if he's angry at you right now, it's because he believes things that are wrong: he thinks you've cheated on him ... but that's wrong! You just have to explain everything to him and he will understand that all of this is a misunderstanding." 

"But he refuses to talk to me. He did not answer any of my calls, it's his answering machine every time. He decided to erase me of his life forever. It was not words in the air what he told me. 

Jace narrowed his eyes. 

"But what exactly happened? All I remember is Jason covered in blood and Magnus angry, slamming the door of the house." 

 "When he surprised us," Alec replied, "Magnus didn't want to hear anything. He hit Jason, then he told me that it was over. Then he left. And Isabelle found me, alone." 

Alec closed his eyes as he thought back to this painful memory and Isabelle put an arm around his shoulders. 

"I don't know what to do," Alec said after a few minutes of silence. 

Isabelle thought a few seconds, then got up hurriedly. 

"You," she said, pointing to Jace. "You stay with Alec. I'm going to talk to Magnus." 

Alec stood up in his turn. 

"What did you just say?" 

"You heard me well. I'm going to talk to Magnus. He's my friend, I know him well and if he doesn't want to talk to you, he will talk to me. Anyway, I will not give him the choice." 

Alec stared at her. He didn't know if that was a good idea, but he didn't see a better way. His sister was his only chance.