In Two My Heart Breaks-In A Heartbeat

I'm Sorry

Jonathan's P.O.V
I went home that day feeling like the biggest jack-ass that was ever to exist.
And the worst part is that- Sherwin didn't want an apology.
I was- so mad at my self. It wasn't my fault, well it was half my fault because I didn't pull away and let it happen-
How could I have been so stupid. I tried to take my mind off things by listening to Christmas music. And just my luck- what came on was
"All I Want for Christmas is you"
And I just let It play because karma is a bitch and if you try to avoid it it will just come back to you ten times stronger.

I listened to music for a little longer even though it didn't work and all I could think about was Sherwin-
My Momma came into my room- a certain understanding crossed both our blue eyes. Course I wasn't her biological son- but our eyes were so identical I could pretend I was.
"Hi sweetie"
"Hi momma"
"Are you ok?"
"*sigh* yea I'm fine momma"
"Hmm well does you being fine have anything to do with what I got in the mail this morning?"
"What do you mean?"
She brought out a hug envelope and bright out pictures of me and Sherwin on that day in the rain and my eyes began to water.
"Sweetheart, What happened"
I told her everything and how I just-miss him.
And then I realizes something.
"Wait- If  this mystery person sent the pictures you you the must have also sent them to Sheridan's mom- oh no, I have to make sure he's ok"
I immediately grabbed my phone and texted Sherwin

Me: You don't have to talk to me anymore but I have to know  if you have a good home or if anything happened with you mom? Please I need to know if your ok.

I waited for about five torturing minutes on "read" when he responded.

Sherwin: I'm fine. Don't text me again.

At least he was safe.
I sobbed into my moms arms and Joanna was there on my nightstand broken and gray with cracks like concrete.
I wonder what would happen after all this . Are me and Sherwin really over? We can't be. I love him and I always have. He can't leave me.
   
I decided to go on a walk to get my mind off things.

Sherwin's P.O.V
I told my Aunt I wan going to go for a walk, I wants to go to my favorite waterfall, it was probably frozen by now.. WHICH WOULD MAKE FOR AN AWESOME PICTURE! SCREEEEEEEE! So I made sure I brought my Polaroid, and I put it in my bag, I decided to take Shirley with me as well, because I felt a need to have my heart with me, maybe it was some weird science thing "a person can only live within ten feet of their heart" yadda, yadda, yadda.

I began my walk to the waterfall, that was my favorite spot to be, it was cloudy and freezing and I had this huge puffy jacket on.

I was exited to get there and take a picture.

But when I got there, Jonathan was already there.

Looking handsome  as ever in the soft December light.
I wanted to leave but I couldn't. I just sat next to him, the lake was beautiful and frozen. He turned towards me.
"Im sorry"
"I...."
"Sherwin, I love you and I just froze and got scared and tat was an accident but Sherwin... you were no accident."
We both started tearing up and I turned towards him...
"Im sorry... i just came here to take a picture."
And Jonathan smiled a smile I've never seen, an incredibly sad smile, and he said
"Then take your picture, buy don't forget me"
"O-ok"
So I got up and took a picture.
I also took three other ones and I dropped one of the pictures by Jonathan and kept mine of ye waterfall and mine of Jonathan I had taken, I sat back down to enjoy the frozen waterfall as much as I could while letting tears run down our faces.
Jonathan noticed my heart loves sticking out of my bag and took them and we tried, we really did try to fix then but they were worse than ever before.
It started to snow and we just looked at each other. This as something tat couldn't be fixed, quite as easily.
"I'm sorry"

"It's ok Jonathan"

And although I forgave him, we both knew things could never be ok.

Because we loved each other too much.