Lola (Completed)

16 Love and Nightmares

*** Trigger Warning*** Scene is italicized later in this chapter.

Lola

He doesn't bruise me up. He's right. Alpha is always frighteningly gentle. It makes me sick to think about my own lack of protest, of fight. I can't help but wonder if I should have fought harder for my freedom from him.

I stumble a little at the memory that assaults me. Only Bastian's arm wrapped around my middle keeps me from face planting on the sidewalk.

"You OK, Loles?" he asks me, concern on his face.

"Y-yeah, just clumsy," I reply, out of breath. I pull myself together, clinging a little tighter to Bastian. Leech. I really am a leech, because what happens if Bastian ever finds out the truth of my past? Every one of these stolen moments will be stained with the knowledge that while I am with Bastian his own father is lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce. I'll be a parasite, draining Bastian of everything good in his life because I can't be good. I'm not allowed.

No. No, I have no fight, because of that one horrific night. Most of it is just a blur of pain and fear, but I remember enough. The hands that left more than bruises behind, the voice, mocking my struggles, calling me a whore, a worthless bitch. Those cruel blue eyes, nothing like Bastian's gentle blue. Hell, nothing like anyone's eyes, even Alpha has more soul than that male.

The worst part of the memory is that Alpha gave me to that male. Alpha let him hurt me to the point that I thought I was going to die that night.

"You're thinking awfully hard over there," Bastian murmurs in my ear.

I force those memories back again. I am wasting time with my mate by thinking about things I can't change.

"Just a weird night," I reply.

"Your mom is a fucking trip, hmm?" Bastian says teasingly.

I laugh a little. "She always has been. Remember that time when she told Alpha to start building our house?"

Bastian chuckles. "We were, what, six and seven?"

I hum in acknowledgment. That's not really that funny anymore. Not now that Bastian and I figured out we really are mates. My mom's matchmaking schemes can't undo what the goddess has decreed, but little does she know the truth of all that.

"I'm keeping you," Bastian says suddenly. We stop, abruptly, on the sidewalk outside of the dark boutique that sells perfumes and body lotions. The moonlight glints off of the array of bottles in the window display. It's a high couture kind of store, but they only have a small security light on in the back, giving it an eerie, abandoned feeling.

"Lola?"

"Bastian," I whisper. I look up into his serious eyes.

"I'll figure something out, Lola, but I'm keeping you."

"As your mistress," I say. He told me this already and I know that nothing has changed, despite the flutter of hope in my heart. Bastian can't Mark me. It's just not possible.

"For now," he adds.

He leans down and kisses me. I don't usually kiss the males, not even Bastian.

It's a perfect kiss, a slow burn kind of passionate kiss, not too soft, not too hard. Just... perfect. Suddenly, the dark stores lining the streets and the chill autumn wind blowing my hair are less creepy.

When we pull away and start walking again I start thinking about what Bastian said. 'For now.' For now he'll keep me or for now I'll be his mistress? Will he mate me?