dazed and confused - norenmin

six

jeno

soon they arrived at jeno's holiday house,
where renjun would be staying.
jeno watched, satisfied,
as renjun's eyes lit up at the sight of the white building,
and he began to bounce up and down in his seat.

"we're staying here? it's so nice!"

"yep. and jaemin's right next door."

in the rear view mirror jeno could see the other two,
smiling at each other happily,
and something in his chest tightened.

he feigned a smile.

"let's go in"

"come on junnie, i'll carry your suitcase"

"u-uh sure, thank you"

jaemin got out and opened the boot of the car.
when jeno looked at renjun he saw colour mantling his cheeks,
presumably due to the nickname.
he saw renjun slap the side of his own neck lightly,
then pretended he hadn't.
he didn't want to intrude in whatever was going on.
(or did he...)

a few hours later and renjun was all unpacked.
jeno and jaemin had helped him arrange his things
in the room which he would be sharing with jeno.

when they had first entered the room together, jeno had looked at the one, double bed,
and suddenly realised that renjun might be uncomfortable with sharing with him.

i bet he wouldn't mind sharing with jaemin
since they're so close now.
should i ask if he's okay with it?

but renjun hadn't said anything,
and jeno didn't want to be the one to bring up the subject.
so now all three were sitting on the bed,
having just finished unpacking.
they looked at each other, wondering what would happen next.

"hey junnie, what do you want to do now?"

"um...i hope you guys don't mind, but-"

renjun interrupted himself with a huge yawn, and stretched his arms above his head.

adorable

"i'm pretty tired after my flight, do you think i could have a little nap?"

"of course, that's fine."
"jaemin and i will be in the living room, or maybe at his place.
just come out when you wake up"

"sweet dreams junnie."

jaemin brushed his hand against renjun's forehead in a brief but sweet gesture,
and jeno felt a wave of jealousy course through him.

they left the room and closed the door behind them.
suddenly jaemin grabbed jeno's arm, making him flinch from the sudden contact.

"he's really cute!"
"i mean not like cute cute, no homo,
but i just wanna squish his little cheeks and tell him that he's adorable."

jeno brushed jaemin's hand off him, and stared at the other boy.

"what's your deal?"

"what do you mean"

"yesterday you said you didn't want him 'ruining our trip',
and now suddenly you're best buds?
what the fuck's that all about?"

heat began to rise in jaemin's cheeks, both from embarrasment and anger.

"what's the issue, jeno?
you told me to be friendly, so i'm being friendly.
obviously it helps that he's nice, but i would have made an effort anyway.
for you. my best friend."
"i don't know why you're mad at me."

they looked into each other's eyes for what felt like hours,
jaemin defensive, and jeno's eyes glinting with an indescribable emotion.
finally jeno broke the contact,

"i wish i was mad at you"

he walked out of the house, leaving jaemin alone in a turmoil of confusion.

*****

jeno's thoughts:

i don't understand
i'm upset that they're close, but also happy.
i could never be angry at jaemin,
he means too much to me
i'm not angry at renjun either.
i'm mad at myself.
i've missed my chance.
now i'm alone
they deserve eachother more than i do

jaemin's thoughts:

is jeno...jealous?
no don't be stupid jaemin
he doesn't like you like that
maybe he likes renjun.
that's...fine.
but wait, jeno's not gay,
he's had like a hundred girlfriends,
so he can't be gay.
can he?

renjun's thoughts:

god i love sleep

author's note

ok so something's actually happening now.

jeno accept your emotions
jaemin accept the truth
renjun...enjoy your nap.

byebyebye
xxx