Warning: This book is basically the purest form of cringe, if you are sensitive to cringe, I suggest you stay the heck away from this book... side effects may include clenching fists, rolling eyes and other habits you won't want to adopt from this b...
Jin: pass me the sesame oil!! I need to add it into the pan before the steam loses its moisture!! /covers pan/ Jimin: What?? Why would you need sesame oil for a fried egg?? Jin: /grabs jimin's collar/ listen here, you little mochi, MY fried eggs need MY own ingredients to make MY dish. That freaking egg is going to be better than any fried egg, better than Gordon Ramsay's, YOU HEAR ME?? Jimin: yesyesyes /passes sesame oil/ you could have just asked nicely... Jin: /releases jimin/ ~just a spoonful of sesame oil makes the medicine go down!!~
Jin: you're forbidden to enter kitchen or touch anything Namjoon: awww come on!! Just a few seconds won't hurt right? /steps into kitchen, touches fridge/ Namjoon: See? Nothing bad will happen— /fridge explodes/ /ice cubes fly out/ /ice cubes hits stove knobs/ /Bultaoreune/ /kitchen starts to burn down/ /rm runs out/ Jin: well... /inhales/ Namjoon: holy f*ck I know that smile... Jin: WELL... Namjoon: dont. Say. Jin: ...I GUESS YOU SURE CAN... Namjoon: NO. YOU. WONT. DAR— Jin: ...COOK UP A DISASTER!! /windshield wiper laugh/ Namjoon: OH MY FREAKING—
Hoseok: Hmm, what should little Hobi cook today? Let's see what we have in the fridge... /opens fridge/ okay... guess I'll make instant noodles.. Jin: /pokes head around corner/ WTF INSTANT NOODLES IS NOT COUNTED AS COOKING!! It's fakeu food!! Hoseok: but, I found it in the fridge... Jin: WHO PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE?? INSTANT NOODLES DONT BELONG THERE!! Taehyung from another room: f*ck. Jin: I HEARD THAT!! YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!! There is going to be no mercy for anyone who disrespects food. Hoseok: so can I have my noodles back please? Jin: NO YOU CANT!! /throws food out of window/ Hoseok: fine I'll just BUY food then. Jin: NO! NO WASTING MONEY ON SOMETHING YOU CAN DO YOURSELF!!! Hoseok: SO CAN YOU COOK FOR ME THEN?? Jin: ... Hoseok: ... Jin: ... Hoseok: ... Jin: OH HECK TO THE NOOOOOOO Hoseok: /faceplam/
Jimin: pssst, Taehyung!! Taehyung: What?? Jimin: shhh, can you reach up into that cupboard? Taehyung: /reaches/ I think I can, why? Jimin: Great!! Reach in and get me the Jams!! Taehyung: What?? Jimin!! Namjoon will kill me if he finds out... Jimin: who cares??!! Just give it to me!! Taehyung: I'll die! Jimin: I need Jams to live!! Taehyung: So? That means you're dead already!! Jimin: OH YEAH? WELL MY LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOURS!! Taehyung: OH SO YOU WANNA FIGHT? I BET MY CHILLI PEPPER IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!! Jimin: WELL MINE WILL BE SHINER!! Namjoon: WTF is going on?? Jimin: CRAP, RUNNNN!! Taehyung and jimin: /runs off/
Yoongi: Jiiiiiiin, can you cook for me today? I'm tired... Jin: You literally said the exact same thing every day for the past 25 years!! That's literally when you just learnt to talk. Yoongi: But... Jin: NO BUTS!! Go cook yourself!! /walks away/ Yoongi: But I'll get you earrings... Jin: /walks faster/ Yoongi: I'll get you some eyeshadow... Jin: /opens room door/ Yoongi: I'll get you a new pink dress... Jin: /freezes/ /turns around/ reeeeaaaalllllly??? Yoongi: Well, I was going to, but someone wouldn't cook for me so I guess I have no energy to get out of bed... Jin: SAY NO MORE YOONGI!! WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EAT? Yoongi: get me hobi Jin: what why Yoongi: Hes my snacc, now cook me a steak with mashed potatoes Jin: but we don't have any— Yoongi: well I guess you won't be getting any dresses anytime soo— Jin: SHADDAP IM GOING ALREADY!! Yoongi: yay /sleeps/ victory again!!
Taehyung: /picks up phone/ helloooo?? Panda Express? Jin: /kicks phone out of taetae's hand/COOK. YOUR. OWN. SH*T. Don't keep buying stuff. Taehyung: WHYYYY? It would taste disgusting!! Jin: you'll never know until you try, my little taetae! Taehyung: Ugh fine!!
20 minutes later...
Taehyung: Jin!! Come and taste this!! Jin: Coming!! ...um what's this? Taehyung: it's brown, that's what... Jin: /sniff sniff/ EWWW WTF TAE!! IT SMELLS LIKE POOP!! WTF DID YOU DO TO IT???!! Taehyung: YOU TOLD ME TO COOK MY OWN SHIT SO I COOKED MY OWN SHIT!! NOW ENJOY IT BECAUSE I SPENT A GOOD 10 MINUTES DOING STUFF IN THE TOILET!! Jin: uggghhhh, Just go get your Panda Express!! Taehyung: yayyyy my plan worked again!! Jin: tf is wrong with my kids these days... /sigh/
Jungkook: /turns on camera/ Hello, welcome back to Jungkook's kitchen!! Today, the dish I'm making is sponsored by flex tape, and it's adhesive strength insfired me to make these sticky sweet potatoes, are you ready? Well then follow along!!
5 minutes later...
Taehyungfrom another room: HAS ANYONE SEEN MY SUPERGLUE? Jin: shush Taehyung Jungkook is cooking lunch for us, he needs to concentrate. Taehyung: ooooh wonder what special ingredients he will add into the dish😋😋...
10 minutes later...
Jungkook: All right and after you put in two tubes to superglue, you're ready to spread it onto the plate and enjoy!! But remember!! Always share with your family!! This is Justin Jungkook, See you on the next video!! Bye bye!! Jin: Jungkooooooooook, is your dish done?? I'm so hungry I'm digesting myself... Jungkook: well use my flex tape insfired dish to patch up your hunger!!! Jin: /takes chopsticks/ why is it stuck to the plate? Jungkook: oh no!! I forgot to tell my viewers to keep it hot!! Oh no oh no oh noooooooo!!!! Jin: TF?? DID YOU PUT SUPERGLUE IN HERE?? Jungkook: yes? Jin: you need cooking lessons from me, my little kookie... Jungkook: why? Isn't my food nice? Jin: yeah, but superglue isn't edible... Jungkook: it's not? Jin: uh, yeah /throws food away when Jungkook wasn't looking/ Jungkook: But taetae and I snack on it all the time... Jin: WHAAT??!! YOU AND HIM WHAT??!! KIM TAEHYUNG COME HERE RIGHT NOW!! Taehyung from another room: sh**********t... jin can't know that I'm an alien and Jungkook can eat superglue... well either way I'm screwed... Jin: KIMMMM TAEEEHYUNGGGGGGG!!!!!!
____________________________ Thanks for reading!! I hope it wasn't too cringe for you... 💜💜💜
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And thank you all so much for 1K reads!! It's probably not a lot, but I really appreciate it!! Purple you all 💜💜💜
