Broken Crayons Still Color

"Why didn't you pick up?"

I step into the hot the shower

Lean my body against the cold tiles

And began to sob as the water fell down onto my body

A strange pain erupted from my chest

It was almost unbearable and I began to cry harder

Afterwards I somehow manage to get out and cloth myself

I rub lotion gently on my body and brush my teeth

Maybe here or there I made small talk with my roomate

But not much because I didn't feel like talking to anyone

Espically to the people who I fake a smile to almost everyday

Finally she left and I crawled into bed

Pulled the covers over my head and started to cry once again

I'm not sure how long I cried for

It could of been a few minutes or even a few hours

At some point I began to think of her sweet voice

How much I miss hearing it

All I wanted was at least one simple hello or I love you

That was all I needed in order to get through this night

I always hated calling her and interupting her day

I know how busy she gets and what little time she has

But I can't seem to help it at the moment

I didn't desire to talk to anyone else not even my best friend

I pick up the phone and dialed her number

I waited as the phone rang and then instantly went straight to voicemail

My heart drop and I quietly shed a few more tears

She did send me a text or two and I answered in a few short words

I didn't give any hint about the pain I was currently going through

I waited thinking maybe she would call back

But she never did

Why didn't you pick up?

I needed you

I ended up staying in bed all night

Ignored everyone plead for me to go out

I cried myself to sleep several times until I was wide awake at 11:00

But I still couldn't manage to get out of bed

I was heartbroken and lost

I was so exhausted from crying nonstop

I'm not upset nor am I mad at you

You didn't know what I was battling through

But I wish you would of answered

I didn't care whether if you pick up and said goodbye

Because all I needed was to hear your voice that night

I needed to remind myself that this pain was worth it

And now I feel worthless and stupid

Stupid to think that you cared enough to be there for me

Why oh why didn't you pick up the phone?

Why oh why didn't you try call back?

Why oh why won't you call right now?

Maybe I'm insane

Maybe I was wrong

Maybe it was all a lie to begin with

Maybe I should try one last time

Dial the number and wait for a response

Ring

Ring

Ring

I'm sorry the person your trying to reach is not avaiable

Please leave a voicemail after the beep

Beep

Hello?

Why didn't you pick up the phone?

I need you right now..