The Game of Sanity

Chapter 18

After a few hours of fucking around on the internet and getting bored of that, I decide to do something useful with my life for once and look up the Dokkalfar again. It takes me a few minutes until finding a non-video game related page but when I do, the page has very little information that I didn't know. It only said things like the Dokkalfar are amazing manipulators, good at magic, stealthy and charismatic.

Unsurprisingly, Ben checks all the boxes.

I end up going back to find another page and stumble onto a shamanism page. Curiosity makes me click on the page and this brings me to a web page titled "The Alfar: Dancing Light and Singing Dark". I reread the title and wonder to myself if they misspelled the word "alter" but after reading the first sentence it is explained to me that "alfar" is the "old Norse" word for "elves".

Continuing to read, I learn that the more commonly used word for Dokkalfar is Svartalfar. I let out a huff in frustration, Hours of researching in the past with little to show suddenly makes sense and I feel frustrated at this revelation.

A few paragraphs later I decide to just say fuck this article and look up "svartalfar weaknesses" bcause why not? Most of what shows up is fandom shit except for one link.

I click on the link and see a block of text on a black background. It doesn't take me long to learn that svartalfar aren't exactly evil unlike my original thought. Further into the text, I learn that their dark apperence if from working on the lower part of something called 'the World Tree'.

This new fact makes me let out a long winded sigh, What if I'm chasing nothing? What if these beings aren't real at all and Ben is something completely different? Ben is real. Are these things real?

I slowly close my laptop and store it under my bed.

I lay back onto my pile of pillows and run my hands through my long greasy hair. It's been a few days since I had last showered but I'm not sure if I'm up to taking one now. My ankle is in no condition for me to stand for that long but I suppose that doesn't count out a bath.

I sigh again and reach my phone to watch YouTube only to find that it's dead. Odd. It was fully charged last I had checked. I stare at the screen for a few more seconds then reach for the charger on my bedside table. Once it's plugged in, I reach for my crutches and slowly hoist myself up onto them and hobble to my closed door. It takes some maneuvering and more time than I would like to admit but at last I'm able to open it without applying to much pressure to my injured foot. Once I'm in the hallway, I hobble to the bathroom and open the door. I let myself rest on the wall by the door for a moment and study the bathroom. The walls are white, the bathtub curtain is white, the counter is white. Everything is white.

I let out another long breath then close the door by me and use my crutches to help myself hobble to the toilet. I take off the ankle brace then strip down and start the water. I turn up the temperature as high as I can without getting burnt and slowly ease myself into the tub.

As soon as the water touches my back, I feel myself relax for the first time in at least six days. My eyes instinctively close and I can't help but enjoy the silence that the bathroom gives me.