JENNIE
When the both of them were completely gone, that's when I finally breathe. Not like I wasn't able to actually breathe, it just felt like I was holding my breath the whole time. So, what now? Maybe, I should head home.
Wait, did I say home? What even is a home? It's a place where a happy family is settled, eats together, laughs together, smiles together, stays together, and does everything together, right?
As for me, I live alone. I cook for myself, eat by myself, do the laundry myself, take care of myself, and do all the things by myself. And the place where I stay is far from home. Therefore, it's just a house.
You might be wondering why it's just me. So, here's the tea. My grandparents were against my mom and dad's relationship but they fought for their love like in those cliché romance movies. They run away to create their own family. That's when I was born.
I still remember how happy our house used to be. We were never rich but our smiles were priceless. Dad would always remind me to be grateful of the things I have and not to look for the things I can't afford. He was hard-working, if I'm not wrong he had five different jobs. He does his best just to make ends meet. Although he always goes home tired, he doesn't let me and my mom know. He always has his contagious bright smile. To me, he was the best father in the world.
Everything was fine, we didn't think that something could go wrong but one day my dad got into a car accident. I still remember the look on my mom's face as she heard the news over the phone. Honestly, it still haunts me sometimes, the way she smiled dropped in a split second before her tears began cascading down her face. That was the first time I saw my mom crying. So, I know for an instant that something was wrong.
And yes, my dad died. They tried to save him but he was dead on arrival. When I saw him lying in the cold morgue lifelessly, I didn't know what to feel. I wanted to scream, I wanted to curse whoever took the life out of my father but I wasn't able to do any of those. Instead, I just cried as I hold his cold hand. I didn't let go of it until it was time to go. It was hard to accept but what happened already happened.
And if our lives before my father passed away were rough, it just became rougher. We were devastated and grieving but we were already wondering how we will survive. It was a miracle if we could eat three times a day. Most of the time, we would just eat sweet potatoes and that's it. I even got used to sleeping with an empty stomach.
My mom would just cry and I would cry too. We never wanted us to be apart but she said it was the only way to save us both, to work overseas. She said that if she won't do it, we'll both die of hunger. Though it was heartbreaking, I pulled myself together and agreed.
Wait, that's enough for now. I didn't want to cry but remembering those things really make these hot tears fall from my eyes. It's all I could do anyway, cry. I pulled myself together and wiped my tears. My mom would surely scold me if she's seeing me cry.
I took a deep breath and headed back to my house, of course alone.
When I finally reached, I was welcomed by the usual gloomy atmosphere. I just tried to shook the thoughts in my head away. I don't want to end up crying again. I decided to just go to my room and take a bath.
Then, I went to kitchen. After all, I still have to eat. I cooked my meal and eat at the lonely table alone. I really wish mom is here. We're probably talking about how my day went by now. She used to do that when I was younger after all. After eating, I washed the dishes while humming my favorite song.
When I was done, I decided to head to my room again and finally rest. However, when I was just walking through the living room, I noticed something on the table. It was a pink paper plane.
This is not mine, I'm sure I didn't make this. I look around hoping to find the owner of this cute paper plane but instead of finding someone, I noticed something. The window was open. The plane was probably blown by the wind.
I picked it up and looked at it closely. Then I found out that there was something written on it. My curiosity got the best of me again so I'm sorry but I'll unfold this. I'll just fold this again later.
"Always be happy."
What? Is this intentional or what? Tell me this is just a coincidence because these kinds of words are what I need to hear or at least read.
Whoever owns this paper plane might be messing around with me or maybe I'm just overthinking things. Someone's probably just playing with this and it accidentally went through my open window. So, I guess this isn't a big deal.
"Always be happy?"
I've been trying though. It's just that my situation doesn't allow me to. I mean who would be happy to live alone and have zero friends. That really doesn't seem to be something to be happy about.
Somehow, I think that it's my fault though because I never tried to make the first move. But I'm just afraid that be awkward and that they might not like me being around. Yes, right, me being paranoid and overthinking.
