Lights, Camera, Slut it Up! [Boy/Boy]

Chapter 21: Closure

Lights, Camera, Slut it Up!: Chapter 21: Closure

               I looked at all the faces of my family, they had all gathered to watch me graduate. Despite everything that had happened in the last five years, I made it. I was a culinary school graduate and already has a job lined up at a well – established restaurant in the middle of the downtown party district.
"Congratulations baby!" My mother wrapped her arms around me once we were back at the apartment I was still getting used to her physical contact but it felt nice. Janice was next, quickly followed by Michael.
I looked around, seeing my mother, Janice, Michael, Liliana, Angel, Maxxie, and Keller. "Where's Abby?"
My Mother pointed toward the balcony, where Abby was currently kissing one of the girls I met when I picked her up from school. "She told me what you told her. A few weeks ago, she told me if I sent her to live with her father that she would call you and you take her away." She stared at the ground, "She also showed me the scars and said if I didn't like it then she'd go live with you and Maxxie."
I sucked in a breath, "It sounds like she had a meltdown."
"No." My mother shook her head and smiled with tears in her eyes. "She just wasn't afraid anymore." I could understand that. If I had had someone to tell me they would protect me when I was her age, I probably would have turned to less destructive ways of dealing with things.

               I listen to Michael talk about college and his girlfriend. She sounded like a nice girl. Abby and her girlfriend had rejoined the party. Keller and Liliana talked while they danced with Angel. Everything was perfect... almost. Maxxie had slipped out the door at one point and no one would tell me where he had gone.
The doorbell rang and everyone watched as I walked over to answer it. A man stood there with a large bouquet of red and white velvety roses. "Congratulations Mr. Tyler." He entered the apartment, followed by another, and another. I had a line of men and women with rose bouquets, waiting for their turn to place them in the apartment. Maxxie's parents and brother were even in the lineup. Maxxie was last, holding a metal rose in his hands. We stood in the middle of the room, surrounded by hundreds of roses and our families. He is We's All About Us played softly in the background. Maxxie took my hand and smiled down at me. "Life is unpredictable Nicky. It could be hard and trying at times but it's all worth it when you find someone to live it with you." He knelt at my feet, holding the metal rose between us. "I found the man I can't live without and I want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you've made me." He pulled on the rose's petals to expose the ring it held. "Will you marry me?"
My chest constricted as I stared down at the man I loved. He made me happier than he knew and I couldn't imagine my life without him either. "Yes!" He slipped the platinum band on my finger and I waited for him to stand before I jumped into his arms. Everyone began clapping and I couldn't imagine this day getting any better.
"This doesn't mean I'm going to call him brother!" Alessandro called, causing everyone to chuckle in response.
Maxxie smiled, "Don't worry Nicky - you don't have to call him brother either. Just call him a jackass."
"Boys." Their mother sighed as his father laughed. I was amazed at how much I felt the love in the room. Three short months ago, I felt completely alone and now I was surrounded by family... my family.

               Amongst the celebrations, I managed to slip out onto the balcony. It was a clear night and the lights of the city created a beautiful scenery. I held Chrystler's necklace in my hand and it almost felt as if he were standing right beside me. "I know you're up there Chrystler and I hope you don't hate me. Maxxie and I are engaged and I finally feel like I'm alive again. I'll always love you, but damn, I wished I knew why... was it something I did? If it was then I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you." As I talked, my fingers fiddled with the piece of jewelry. My thumb hooked on the edge and it popped open, exposing a folded up piece of paper. My hands began to shake as I gently pulled it out. I unfolded it, swallowing the fear in my throat. I didn't know the necklace opened, much less that there was something in it. I took in a shuddering breath once I had the paper completely open. It was Chrystler's writing that filled the page... and it was made out to me. Tears sprang to my eyes as I read it, feeling the pain that he had been in. It was his suicide note and he hid it in the place that only I could find.

               He told me he loved me and he didn't want me to cope the way I had. He missed his brother, Harris, and was hurt by his parents disappointment in him. I knew he didn't like to talk to them but I didn't know how much shit they put him through. They really fucked him over... at the end, he gave me his blessing to be with Maxxie - or anyone else. He knew Maxxie had feelings for me. My knees buckled and I allowed myself to collapse.
"Nicky!" Maxxie ran out onto the balcony, closely followed by everyone else. "What's wrong?" I slowly handed him the paper. I tried to breathe but it felt like my lungs had completely closed off.
Maxxie's eyes quickly read through the lines. "Nicky – " He knew what this meant to me. He knew how much I needed to see that little piece of paper. Everything I had wondered about was answered. I made him happy and it wasn't my fault... he just didn't know how to ask for the help he needed. "Come here baby." I leaned into Maxxie as he gently placed one arm around my back and the other under my knees. He lifted me off the cold cement and back into the house. He walked down the hall into the bathroom. He kicked the door shut before setting me on the counter. "Breathe baby." He wiped my tears away, offering a reassuring smile.
"He always talked about how much he missed his brother." Harris meant so much to Chrystler and I'm sure Chrystler felt the way I did when his brother committed suicide. Their parents had done a number on their kids, but at least Chrystler was with his brother now. He's not alone and he's not in pain. I just hope he's happy now. Maxxie listen while I voiced everything I was feeling. I had only seen a therapist a few times since I got drunk and threw up all over Alessandro's car, but she told me how important it was to talk to those around me. They wanted to be there for me, but I had to let them in first. They could only help me if I allowed them to. "I had the answers the whole time." I held the amulet in my hand.
I watched Maxxie refold the letter and tuck it back into its hiding place. "This is yours Nicky and it's up to you who you wish to share it with." He ran a washcloth under a stream of water in the sink. He wrung it out and began to wipe my face. The cool fabric felt amazing on my heated skin.
"I love you." I looked down at my ring and smiled. I was engaged to the most amazing man in the world and I wanted everyone to know it.
He cupped my hand and brought it up to his mouth. He kissed my ring finger and smiled... "and I love you."