Rewrite the Stars

Chapter Four - Midnight Talk

Benjamin stands at the other side of the door. He looks mad, but I can see that he's trying to reign in his anger.

"Can I come in?" He asks me.

I move to the side to let him in. He walks inside my house and I close the door behind him before walking to the living room with him on my heels. I take a seat on the sofa while he takes the seat on the opposite side of me on the arm chair.

"Would you like to drink something?" The hostess side is in me is always there no matter what.

Benjamin shakes his head no then runs his hand through his hair. "You and Wyatt are a thing now?" He asks me.

I laugh without a hint a humor. "You came here in the middle of the night to ask me that?

Benjamin can probably sense the hostility in my voice. "I'm not here to fight, Rosalinda, I just want to talk. We started on the wrong foot this morning."

"And whose fault was that?" I raise my eyebrow questioningly. "You practically barged in screaming and shouting."

"What was I supposed to do, Rosalinda? Please tell me because I have no fucking clue!" His hands run over his face in frustration. "I wake up one morning with news of my ex-girlfriend back in town. I get no phone call, no text, nothing. Not even my brother, Collin, or Esmeralda gave me a heads up."

I look down guiltily. Collin and Esmeralda have been with me through it all and I owe them so much. However, I do feel guilty about making them hide things from Benjamin, but I had to do what was best for him. Everything I did was with him in mind.

Noticing my silence, Benjamin decides not to elaborate on the subject, but rather return to his previous question.

"So are you and Wyatt a thing?" He asks a bit more softly this time.

I look up at him and shrug. "This is our first date."

Benjamin keeps nodding his head as if he's deeply in thought about something then instantly stands up from his seat. I reckon he's about to leave, but he surprises me as he takes the seat beside me on the sofa instead.

My heart starts beating rapidly. I haven't had him this close in a very long time. Well, maybe this morning, but I was really mad so it doesn't really count.

Benjamin looks me straight in the eye and whispers. "Where have you been, Rosa?"

His voice is so soft and so inviting that I want to tell him everything. I want to open up my heart to him and let him know every single detail. I want to tell him that I still love him and I never stopped, but I don't. I don't because I don't want him to hurt. I don't want to lie either. Enough with the lies.

"Chicago." I honestly say.

"Chicago?" Benjamin repeats with a questioning tone. "What's in Chicago?" His brows furrowing.

I take a deep breath before releasing it. "Please don't ask any more questions that I can't answer, Ben."

"Why can't you answer, Rosa?" It hadn't gone unnoticed by me that he was back to using my nickname instead of my full name. It felt so good coming from his lips.

"Please, Ben." I look at him with pleading eyes, and he must have noticed my unwillingness to talk anymore about the subject so he dropped it.

"Okay." He releases a breath. "I won't push you to talk anymore, but please know that I'll always be here if you change your mind."

"Thank you." My smile is grateful. "Ben?" He looks at me. His eyes softening as I wring my hands together. "I wasn't cheating on you." I really want him to know that.

I could get lost in his stare. I imagine myself laying in his arms ad listening to his heartbeat just like old times, but I know that things have changed. Nothing's the same anymore. He might be here with me, but he isn't mine anymore. He belongs to someone else now. His heart belongs to someone else now, and I don't know if I should feel sad for myself or happy for him for finding someone better to love.

"I know you didn't" His voice brings me back to reality. "I'm sorry that I insinuated that you did." I nod sadly. I understand why he said what he said. I can't really blame him, can I?

Benjamin's eyes suddenly go to my chest and I follow his stare. I blush scarlet at the realization that I am wearing his old T-shirt.

"It still looks good on you." He whispers.

"It's laundry day." My excuse sound so lame and stupid and by the smirk on Benjamin's lips I know that he doesn't believe me.

"Cheryl seems nice." I change the subject.

"She is." He tells me, but doesn't elaborate.

"How long have you been together?" I ask him wanting to know more.

Benjamin looks at me for a second before replying. "About six months now." He says in a clipped tone.

I nod as I play with a loose string on my t-shirt. I notice how his replies are short meaning he doesn't want to talk about the subject anymore. So I ask him something instead. Something that has been nagging me ever since Esmeralda mentioned it.

"Why did you got to jail?" I look up at him only to see him stiffen.

"How did you know that?" He asks me seriously.

"Esmeralda told me."

"Of course she did." He shakes his head. "What else did she tell you?"

"That's everything she told me." I tell him. "She said that it's not her story to tell."

Benjamin nods his head firmly, but doesn't say anything.

"I'll share mine if you share yours." He smirks at me, and he knows that he's got me there, but I guess it's only fair.

I laugh at his childish behavior that I miss. His laugh fills the room and it feels just like the old times where we two people in love with each other with no care in the world, but life doesn't work that way.

Benjamin suddenly sobers up and looks at me the same way he used to. I feel self-conscious and look down. His hand is instantly under my chin, tilting my face up to meet his.

"Never look down." He whispers.

Never look down. Always keep your head up high. Benjamin used to always tell me this when I was feeling down or unworthy.

My mouth turns upwards in a smile which Benjamin returns and my belly tingles at his touch. His hand reluctantly leaves my chin and he stands up.

"I better get going." I nod and stand up as well. "I opened up my own law firm. Did you know that?" he says as he stands at the door.

"You did?" I beam at him. This is what he always wanted. I'm so glad he went out and worked on his dream. I had no doubt that he would succeed.

Benjamin's smile is that of a proud man and he should be damn proud of himself. "I'm so happy for you!" I tell him and without thinking I just wrap my arms around his neck. I feel Benjamin stiffen under my touch, but he instantly relaxes and wraps his arms around my torso. I take in the way he smells of sandalwood and musk. Still the same smell I liked. It's only a moment before I realize what I have done and even though I am reluctant to leave his warmth, I pull back.

"I'm... I'm sorry." I stutter. "I was just happy for you. I didn't think."

Benjamin smirks. "I'll take as many awkward hugs as you can give me."

I blush a deep crimson red. He's still a smooth talker as he always has been.
He opens the door and starts to leave when I stop him. "Ben" He turns his head and looks at me. "Please drive safe." I whisper softly. There's a hint of a smile on Benjamin's face as he nods then closes the door and leaves.

As I lay in bed about to fall asleep, I think about how things can change in hours. Benjamin was unable to be in my presence in the morning, but now, well now I can say that we're good. We're not friends I guess, but at least we can be cordial to each other if we see each other on the street.

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