Rewrite the Stars

Chapter Twenty Four - Forgive Me

"How are you holding up?" Layla asks me as she hands me a cup of hot coffee and takes a seat.

I shrug. "I don't know how to feel." I tell her honestly.

I called Layla last night in tears when Benjamin left and filled her in on everything that went on. We decided to meet up during our lunch break at the coffee shop in town square.

"He took it better than you expected him to."

"I guess." I shrug.

Layla sighs and takes a sip of her coffee before spitting it out. "This needs sugar." She mutters. "Do you want some too?" She asks me and I shake my head no.

She heads to the sugar sweetener stand and grabs a couple of sachets then returns. She tears open one of the sachets and pour the contents into her coffee then takes a sip. "Ah. Much sweeter." She exclaims happily before turning her attention to me.

"So, tell me why you refused to continue your relationship with Benjamin." She starts. "Because the way I see it is that you're both madly in love with each other, but you're so stubborn to admit that."

"It's different this time." I reason.

"How is it different? "She asks me confused. "You were already dating before you told him, and you were happy. You were really happy, Rosa." I look down at my coffee. "You knew there was a chance you might relapse, but you didn't leave so why now?"

"Things just happened at first. We didn't plan for it to happen that way, but now everything seems more real, more serious."

She leans back on the chair and looks at me with unconvinced eyes. "Your reasoning makes no sense whatsoever." She tells me. "You might relapse, you might not. You can't keep living your life alone because you're scared. Benjamin is telling you he's willing to take the risk. So take him up on that." She brings the cup to her lips and takes a sip.

"I don't want to put him through that!" I feel like I've said this a million times already, yet no one is really understanding me.

"It's not for you to decide anymore, Rosa." She leans forward. "You told him your story, and now it's for him to decide. You already took that away from him last time. Don't do the same this time." I audibly sigh. "Benjamin is grown man, he can make his own decisions."

I know this, but I'm trying to protect him, at least that's what I thought I was doing. However, that's not the case anymore. I'm doing nothing but making the both of us feel miserable. I love Benjamin as much as he says that he loves me, and I have to admit that's it's nice to have someone you love stand by you through the hard times. Being with him the past couple of weeks has been utter bliss. I miss having him around me. I've been so unfair with him, and I need to fix it.

I stand up and lean down to hug a surprised looking Layla. "Thank you, Layla."

"You're welcome?" It comes more like a question than a statement.

I grab my bag and make my way outside the coffee shop. I know what I should do. Talking with Layla has really opened up my eyes. My mind and heart were in a constant battle against each other, but this time I'm letting my heart win.

I make my way down the street to Collin's firm and walk inside the building. I pass by the security guard and take the elevator to Benjamin's floor then head towards the receptionist who's speaking on the phone. She holds up her finger telling me she'll be with me in a moment.

"How can I help you?" She smiles brightly at me once she hangs up.

"I'm here to see Benjamin." I tell her.

"Oh, Mr. Edwards did not show up to work today." She informs me.

"Oh." I'm confused. Benjamin never misses a day of work. "Do you know if he'll be here tomorrow?"

"No, I'm sorry. I don't. Mr. Edwards doesn't inform us about his schedule."

I nod "Okay, thanks anyways."

I turn around and head back to the elevator, my confidence deflating. I had come in here with my mind made up about talking and reconciling with Benjamin, but I guess the odds weren't in my favor. However, I try not to let that get to me as I grab my phone from my bag and fire up a text to him.

Rosa: I need to talk to you. You weren't in the office. Can we meet up?

***

"Still nothing?" Layla asks me as she flops down on the couch beside me.

It's been five days since my argument with Benjamin and I haven't seen or heard from him since. I went over to his house several times, but no one was answering the door. My text messages and phone calls have gone unanswered. I've sent a couple of text messages after the initial one and I feel self-pity as I read them over.

Rosa: How is it that your kind love was blemished by my selfish mind? Please forgive me

Rosa: Take your time. Don't worry. I'll wait forever, if that is what it'll take for you to forgive me. I love you.

"You're getting a taste of your own medicine." Layla tells me, looking sideways at me. "You did the same thing to him all those years ago."

I look at her suddenly feeling angry. "I don't need your useless insights."

"Whoa, easy tiger." She raises her hands in surrender.

I sigh. "I'm sorry. I just... I don't know what to do."

"Why don't you call your sister?" She offers. "Benjamin might have told them where he disappeared to."

I nod in agreement. "You know what? You're right. I'll head over to their place right now." I tell her as I stand up, but Layla stays settled on the seat.

She notices me staring at her. "What?" She asks.

"Who do you think is going to give me a ride there?" my smile is full of amusement making her groan.

As Layla drives us to my sister's house, I send Esmeralda a text letting her know that I'm coming over. Layla drops me off and leaves to meet up with Noah.

I take a seat and wring my hands together. Collin is the first to notice my nervousness. "Is everything okay, Rosa?" He sounds concerned.
I look up at him, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Benjamin probably doesn't even want to talk to me. I shouldn't be asking around for him, I should just leave him alone and give him some space.

"What is it, Rosa?" Esmeralda asks me softly.

"Benjamin and I had an argument after I told him everything, and now he's not replying to my texts nor is he answering my calls." I rush out before I try to change my mind. Esmeralda looks at Collin as her lips slowly curve up into a smile. At that moment I realize that they already know. "When did he tell you?"

"The same night that it happened." Collin answers.

I don't care that he told them to be honest. All I care about is knowing where he is. "So you know where he is?" I asked.

Collin looks conflicted for a moment before Esmeralda nudges him in the ribs. "Tell her." She whispers. They give each other silent looks that only they can comprehend before Collin turns his attention back to me.

"He's at the cabin."

I look at him confused. I knew that they had a cabin, but if I remember correctly, Benjamin didn't like going up there that much. "He wanted a few days to clear his mind." I nod understandingly.

"Can you give me the address?" I ask them as I stand up. I want to go there and see him, even he isn't willing to see me. At least I can say that I tried.

"I'll take you." Collin offers as he stands up.

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