Rewrite the Stars

Chapter Sixteen - Broken Hearts

We're situated in my living room sofa with a mug of hot chocolate each. Benjamin looks at me waiting for me to ask him any question I might have, but I really don't know where to begin.

"Is Cheryl okay?" I decide that this is going to be my first question.

"She's perfectly fine." He assures me.

"I don't really understand though. How did you know that she was cheating on you?" I ask him.

"A few months back, I noticed Cheryl being more secretive and not really herself. I asked her on several occasions if everything was okay with her and she kept assuring me that she was fine."

"You didn't believe her." I state.

Benjamin shakes his head. "I didn't. So I hired a personal investigator to follow her. He sent me photos of her and Harry in very compromising positions."

I gasp. "Harry? After everything he's done to her?"

Benjamin nods somberly. "Unfortunately, people desire the things that destroy them in the end."

I turn the mug around in my hand afraid to ask the next question. "How do you know the baby is not yours?"

Benjamin looks up at me with sincerity clear in his eyes. "We haven't slept together for a few months now."

"Oh." I sound as shocked as I look.
Benjamin probably noticed so he decided to explain. "I feel the relationship has burnt out on my end. I no longer feel sexually or emotionally attracted to her anymore."

"Why did Cheryl try to make it seem like you were the father then?"

Benjamin shakes his head sadly. "Harry doesn't want the baby."

Benjamin places his mug on the table and I follow suit. "Come here." He stretches out his arms and I willingly go to him, laying my head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. It was like a lullaby. It made me feel safe, like nothing bad is going to happen. His arms wrap around my body, holding me tight.

"She's keeping the baby." He tells me as his hand runs through my hair. "She's moving in with her mother."

"Good for her." I tell him honestly. Cheryl didn't do anything wrong but love a person that wasn't worthy of what she had to give.

"Ben?" My voice is muffled. His chest vibrates as he murmurs a yes. "Why aren't you mad that she cheated on you?"

Benjamin sighs. "Cheryl and I weren't in love. Sure, I cared for her, but that was the extent of it. After how her relationship with Harry ended, I somehow felt responsible for her."

"So, you didn't love her?" I want to make sure.

"I've only loved one person, Rosa." I'm so glad that my head is the one on his chest and not the other way around because my heart was beating erratically in my chest. "I still do." I pull away from his hold and look up at him. "I love you, Rosa. There hasn't been a day where I haven't thought about you." He tells me. "When you left you took my heart with you. It was always yours, and I don't want it back."

Call me emotional, but I start crying. I start crying because I have the most amazing man sitting next me. He is the man that owns me. Heart, body, and soul. When I moved to Chicago, My heart stayed here with him. I hate how life can be cruel sometimes. I hate that we are two people that are very much in love, but unable to be together.

"Why are you crying, love?" He asks me as he wipes my tears away with his thumb.

"I'm so sorry that I hurt you." I tell him and he instantly wraps his arms around me as I sob into his chest.

"It's okay. I forgive you." Why did he have to be that good and forgiving? "You're here now, and that's what matters to me."

"But, we can't be together." I tell him.

Benjamin pulls back and looks at me. "Why? I'm no longer in a relationship." He tells me. "Is it about Wyatt?"

I shake my head. I wish it is that easy. I wish it only involved some other guy, but sadly it's not. It's much deeper than that.

"What then? Why can't we be together?" He asks me. "Don't you love me?"

I love you! I wanted to scream. I love you to the moon and back. However, I'm not sure if I could tell him that. If I do admit my love to him, he's going to ask questions that I'm unable to give him answers to right now, but I can't tell him that I don't love him because it will break him.

"Rosa?" I don't reply.

He looks at me with a mixture of betrayal and anger, and I instantly look away. Benjamin stands up and starts walking to the door making me jump from my seat. I can't let him go.

"Ben!" my voice is distressed. He stops in his tracks, but doesn't turn around so I take it as a sign to go on. "Please don't go. I'm not asking you to understand. I know it's not easy for you to understand what I did."

Benjamin turns around his eyes are ablaze with anger. "No I don't understand." He booms and I take a step back. "I don't understand why you left. So please enlighten me."

"I can't." My voice is so small.

"Exactly." He takes a step forward and I take one more back. "That's all I hear how you can't say this or you can't do that." He takes one more step forward and I realize that I can't take any steps back anymore because my legs has hit the sofa behind me. "What are you hiding, Rosalinda? What are you so afraid that I'll figure out?"

"I...I..." I stutter.

"You what, Rosalinda?" he asks me his voice menacing. "Speak!" tears are gathering in the corner of my eyes and I can't seem to find my voice. "You don't have anything to say, do you?" I stay silent. "Then let me do the talking."

He turns away from me and runs his hand through his hair then turns back around to face me. "I waited for you, Rosalinda. I waited for you every single day. Every day I'd wake up hoping that you'd call or show up. Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to years until eventually I figured out that you weren't coming back." He looked at me and I stayed silent while I just listened. "Do you think I moved on after the realization?" He asks me. "I didn't. I still haven't moved on."

I look down on the floor feeling ashamed and guilty.

"Look at me, Rosalinda. At least have the grace to look at me." And I do. I do look at him. I look at the man I love as a tear falls down my cheek. "You're crying?" He asks me. "That's good. This way you'll feel exactly what I felt." This makes me sob.

He walks towards me and stops when there are merely inches separating us. "Did you ever love me, Rosalinda?" I nod, unable to get the words out of mouth. "I don't think you did. I don't think you ever did love me." He tells me. He doesn't know how wrong he is. He doesn't know how much it rips me apart to not have him by my side. It kills me every single day.

"I will not try to convince you to love me, to respect me, or to commit to me." He tells me his eyes sad. "I will never hate you for not loving me, but I hate myself for still loving you.'
He looks at me one last time then leaves. shattering my heart, that he held in his hands, into a million pieces.

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