pushing the limits | gilbert blythe (completed)

09 | sign of the times

"You can't bribe the door on your way to the sky
You look pretty good down here
But you ain't really good"

Amelia was heartbroken when she found out. She had been fearing the day since she found out about his illness, and it had come. As soon as her father told her, she had quickly put on her coat, and rushed out of the house. She hadn't bothered with a hat or a scarf; she wasn't thinking about herself at that moment.

John Blythe had died.

Her feet skidded through the snow, and the crisp cold air hit her face aggressively, and was sure to give her a cold the next few days. She knew a funeral would be near a week away, and she intended to spend every day with Gilbert.
Oh Gilbert. She knew how broken he must be right now. He was now an orphan, and that must have been so hard for him.

The wind blew her blonde hair past her shoulders, as her small legs pushed her to run harder and faster. She panted through her mouth, tired for it was a long way. She wasn't giving up tho. She saw the house nearby, and ran past the gate, and into the house. Without bothering to knock, she climbed the steps leading to Gilbert's bedroom, and slowly opened the door.

"Gilbert? It's... It's me, Amelia." she said unsurely. At first she thought there was no one in, seeing as nobody answered. But then she heard a sniffle, and she entered slowly. There, sitting at the edge of his bed, was Gilbert. He had his head on his hands, an obvious distressed look on his face. Fresh tears ran down his cheeks, and Amelia let in a short breath.

She sat down next to him, and pulled him into a hug. As soon as his arms wrapped around her, a sob broke out, and it tore Amelia. It hurt her seeing him like this. lost and... broken. She layed her head on his, and let him cry, not knowing how long they both where like that.

On a cold, winter's morning, two black horses pulled a carriage, which was built to carry coffins.

A rather large mob of people followed stiffly behind, shocked and depressed at the news. It seemed the weather quite matched everyone's mood. The sky was cloudy, without a look of the sun. The cold air cut through everyone deeply.

Gilbert walked on the front, briskly, without giving anyone a second glance. Amelia was not far behind, with her father, in front of the Cuthberts and Anne. Everyone was quiet, and no one offered a word. They soon arrived to the cemetery, and everyone stood in their place, as everyone listened to the minister read a few words. "Let not your heart be troubled. ye believe in God, believe also in me..."

Amelia held his hand, as she stared at the cold coffin, which was buried under the snow and the dirt. She didn't dare to speak or look at Gilbert.

Everyone departed when the minister finished, heading inside, where it was warmer, and to grive the loss of another. When Gilbert made no move to head inside, Amelia knew he wanted to be left alone. She squeezed his hand, before letting go and slowly making her way inside, her feet crunching the crisp snow.

Inside, she couldn't stop thinking about Gilbert. How she could help him without hurting more that he already was. She knew this was a very sensitive place, and it made her think about her own mother. How much it had hurt her to lose her, for she knew she would never see her again. That was the hardest bit. Forgetting for a moment that she was dead, and then remember it all.

A plate of strawberry cake was pushed in front of her face. She woke up from her thoughts to see Rachel offering some. "No thanks, Mrs Lynde." Amelia said, and looked out of the window. Seeing Gilbert looking in, and then turning back to walk away, made her stand up and rushing out, putting on her scarf and coat on the way. She closed the door, and swiftly walked towards Gilbert.

Amelia soflty called out his name, but he continued walking as if he hadn't heard her. But she knew he did. His black hat was on his hand, hanging there lifeless. Fitting, somehow.

Amelia caught up with him, and walked next to him, in silence at first. "It seems the weather can read our moods. So cold and empty." she paused, but when she didn't get an answer, she continued talking. "I know it's hard, and challenging, but it gets a little better. He would want you to know that he died happy, with you at his side. On that way, you're lucky-" Amelia quickly realised her mistake when Gilbert stopped on his tracks and turned to look at her.

"Lucky? Do you think I'm lucky?" Gilbert sharp tone surprised her, and Amelia looked at him with wide eyes. "No, I didn't mean it like that, I just... forget I said anything." He stared at her with a cold look. "Maybe you should think before saying anything." Gilbert turned around to walk away. Before Amelia realised what she said, she took a deep breath.

"I know you're hurting, but that's no excuse to hurt and push away those around you." Gilbert stopped walking, as if listening, but not being able to look at her. Amelia toon a deep breath before continuing. "It doesn't help at all. Trust me... I know first hand." Before she could hear his answer, she turned back towards the house, rethinking everything that happened.

She leaned on the door when she got back, people looked at her without giving her a second glance. She knew Gilbert would come around, but for him to be hurting that way hurt her too. She began to realise how much she actually cared about him. But she wondered if he cared about her as much as she did.

The answer to that was yes.

That's why he did what he did.

A/N: I haven't uploaded in sooo long
I'm so sorry but heres an update to make up