MY KILLER

CHAPTER 43

"50, 51, 52, 53..." I counted on and on.
How many times had I tried to kill the bastard?

"65, 66, 67." I kept counting as I paced around the room.
To do or not to do.
It didn't matter. I was going to do it either ways.

Tonight was the night. The night to finally end his life.
I had the dagger in hand. I was very prepared.
I had even sprinkled sleeping powder on his food, one I had gotten from Ameena, no questions asked. The bastard had made me eat it first but it couldn't take effect with such a small amount.

But it was definitely going to knock him out.
I checked the clock, it was almost 3am.
It was time.
I tightened the dagger in my hand and creeped out of my room.
There was no turning back now.

I left my room to the empty hall way. It was expected. He never let anyone else sleep in his house but me and Lady Aliyyah, whenever she came around and wanted to.

Now, it was not because he trusted me. In fact, he didn't trust me the most. With me, everyday was a death escape day for him, he knew it, yet he kept me close.
I was the most dangerous being and had to be kept close.
That was what I figured.
I didn't want to be believe what he said about his house being the safest place for me, I wasn't going to fall for his tricks again.

I tiptoed to his room and gently opened the door. Flashes of the last time I had been there at night flooded my head.
I came over to save him when I should have let him die.
No worries, today was going to makeup for that mistake.

I shut the door behind me as carefully and quietly as I could. It didn't even matter if I didn't, he had already been sedated, nothing was going to wake him up now.

I quietly walked over to his huge bed and watched as he slept soundly, deeply.
And I hesitated a bit.
He was so beautiful, my God.
So perfect.

I shut my eyes and shook my head.
'Focus, Sahiba. Focus.'

I climbed the bed and pressed the dagger on his neck.
My heart was beating so fast, yet, he was still fast asleep.
I loosened my grip a bit and the thought of everything I had been through rushed to my head. The bombing, the kidnap, the rape, the birth, the death, Aisha's death, the horse punishment, my muteness, the imprisonment, the slaps I had received on various occasions, the fact that I was dying, dying without have a chance to see my parents again and finally, Aminah and Saeeda's unfair death. I thought about everything.

And immediately I tightened the dagger on his neck.
Then I hesitated again.
But I didn't know when he opened his eyes until I heard it.

"Kill me" he said.
I was shocked to my bones.
Did the drugs not work?

I turned to look at him. He was looking at me intently with his light blue eyes. My heart missed a beat and a chill went down my spine. 'What's wrong with me?' I asked myself.
Not now, I didn't need this now.

I was the one with the dagger pressed to his neck and even though it was dark, I could feel the blood flow down to it and down to my hands. I had to do it, it just required a little push and he would be dead so, why was I hesitating, again. Why were his eyes so paralyzing. Why were his eyes always so beautiful.

"What are you waiting for? Do it." His deep calm voice brought me back to reality and I realized where I was. I was on top of him on his massive bed with a dagger on his neck at the dead of the night. A word from him and I would be beheaded right there in his bed chamber and that would be the last time anyone would hear of me. No one would miss me, for here, I had no friends.
All my friends were dead.

But my parents, maybe they would miss me; if they didn't already think I was dead.

"Sahiba." He was still staring at me. "You can't do it right?" I was shaking now. Why was it so hard to kill him. Just why.