Space They Cannot Touch

33.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Tom shouted from the kitchen.

"Well seeing as you had me another two times this morning and I'm running late, toast!" you yelled back, pulling on your pants and searching for your flats. Your phone buzzed and you answered, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Hello Y/N, it's Dr Mandapati"

"Oh, hi! Hold on, let me put you on loud speaker". You hurried out into the kitchen. "It's Dr Mandapati". Tom turned and you stood next to him, holding the phone between the two of you. "Okay, we're both here. So, what are the results?"

"Well, I was right. You're not pregnant"

A rush of air escaped your lungs. You were unsure if it was relief or disappointment. "Okay" you replied. "There sounds like a but"

"There is. A rather big one". You glanced nervously at Tom and saw your anxiety reflected in his face. "Are you aware of hyperthyroidism?"

"No...I assume it's something to do with my thyroid though"

"Yes. Hyperthyroidism is a condition where your immune system tells your thyroid to increase the thyroid hormones in your system. It's also known as Grave's disease. It can go undiagnosed for years, and there are many different symptoms. Hyperthyroidism can also cause amenorrhea and affect your menstrual cycle, including your fertility".

Tom was watching you carefully. You were having trouble processing what she was saying. "Right" you managed, voice soft.

"Based on the results of your blood tests, it would appear that you have hyperthyroidism. I will have to refer you to an endocrinologist for the treatment of your thyroid, as I don't specialise in that area. I've already been speaking with a colleague of mine, Dr O'Sullivan, and we agree that the best thing to do would be to start you on medication immediately to increase your chances of returning your thyroid to a normal level. Now as your gynaecologist -"

She was talking too fast for your brain to keep up. "Wait, sorry. I have to see an -" you sputtered.

"An endocrinologist. They specialise in treating hormone issues, diabetes, menopause etc. Anyway, as I was saying, as your gynaecologist, my concern is your fertility. The longer your condition goes untreated, the harder your chances of conceiving naturally will be. I don't know what your plans were regarding children, but once your thyroid is at a normal level I wouldn't leave it too long to conceive. Your pregnancies, should you have more than one, would be considered high risk, and you would have to continue to take medication to manage your thyroid throughout the pregnancy as well".

Your hands were clammy, heart beating loudly in your ears, voice stuck in your throat. What was she saying? 

"Okay" Tom answered, his face conflicted as he watched you struggle with what she was saying.

"Can you come in this afternoon to discuss your treatment plan further? Around 3:30pm?"

"Sure. We'll be there. Thank you Dr Mandapati" Tom said, still watching you, his hands hovering by your arms.

"You're welcome. I'll see you soon"

Tom took the phone from your trembling hands, setting it to rest on the counter. "It's okay, it'll be okay" he murmured, embracing you as if you were as fragile as glass. 

Hyperthyroidism. Grave's disease. Disease. Not pregnant. Amenorrhea. High risk pregnancy. Disease.

These words swirled in your mind and you stood, rooted to the spot, mute and stiff as Tom held you, murmuring to you.