Space They Cannot Touch

37.

"No strippers Dot"

Dot pouted, making her eyes as big and round as possible. You thought she looked like Snow White when she did that. "Please?" she begged in a sing-song voice.

"NO!"

Dot humphed dramatically, slumping in her chair like a child about to chuck a tantrum. She glared at you over her coffee, mouth now pursed sourly. "Why not?"

"Because strippers make me uncomfortable. And I don't want a tiara with condoms stuck to it either, kay?"

"Ugh, you're no fun at all!" Dot whinged, throwing up her hands in frustration.

"I am so fun. I just don't need dicks everywhere to celebrate my bachelorette party!"

"FINE. You're gonna have the most vanilla bachelorette party in the history of bachelorette parties"

"Good"

Dot sat back up, sipping at her coffee. "Now that we've established you're really an 80 year old Grandma inside a 25 years old body, are you getting knocked up any time soon? You know older women have a harder time getting pregnant". 

You knew she was teasing, but it didn't stop you from feeling like someone had stabbed you in the gut. It didn't help that you had the appointment tomorrow with Dr Mandapati. Your stomach had been steadily knotting itself for days in nervous anticipation.

"If you want a baby so bad, have one yourself" you replied sharply, harsher than you intended. 

Dot was unfazed by your attitude. "No thanks. I prefer to live vicariously through you. But seriously, is everything ok?". Her voice was now low and serious, her eyes green eyes gazing at you steadily, as if she could read your mind. You still found it unnerving by how quickly Dot could go from joking to serious. 

You sighed, relaxing your shoulders in an attempt to release some of the tension you were holding onto. "It's okay. I have to go to the hospital tomorrow for more fertility tests and stuff". On cue, your stomach twisted a fraction tighter.

"And..." she prompted gently.

You smiled a little. Who needed polygraphs when people like Dot existed? "And I'm worried that if the results aren't good that it will increase the pressure we're under to continue to rush headlong into major life altering commitments, instead of letting things happen naturally...like having a baby"

"How is Tom handling it all?"

"Really well. Annoyingly well, in fact. Whilst I'm busy having a nervous breakdown and existential crisis, questioning who I am and what does it all mean whilst sitting in the shower crying with a half empty bottle of wine in hand, he's picking out baby names and what colour to paint our non-existent nursery for our non-existent child"

Dot chortled. "Well, at least he's not freaking out. Matthew and I've been together for two years and he still goes pale and stammers like a prize idiot whenever someone mentions engagement rings or weddings"

"Ugh Matthew is such a bore. I don't know what you see in him"

Dot shrugged. "I don't know either. Love makes you blind. And stupid. Hey! Don't try and steer the conversation from you onto me, that's not cool!"

You sheepishly looked at your coffee. "Sorry. He does need to grow up though"

"Yeah, well let's focus on the fact that you should be getting dicked down at every opportunity! Get the baby making factory going girl!"

"Ew, please don't say that ever again!"

"Okay, I won't. But Y/N, is it really such a big deal to have a baby with your husband?". Again, her eyes bored into you, stripping away your defences.