Boy Meets D.Evil

1.22

Warning: suicidal thoughts and a bit of smut (just the way I like it lol)

YOU UNLOCKED: YEONG'S MEMORY

This wasn't my idea, but I couldn't break mum's heart by saying I've given up long time ago. She insisted on visiting this psychiatrist we've seen on TV.  I've heard before of her success, yet I still have my doubts. What I didn't realize at that moment is that the motive for seeking help is important, I shouldn't do it for my mum or anyone else but me. If I myself don't want improvement then there will be none. 

Nevertheless, I hid behind mum as she rung the bell and waited for someone to answer the door

"You're right on time! Come in, make yourself at home", we got greeted by a short, plump woman with a ginger bob haircut, a bunch of jewellery, scarves around her neck and wool socks. She's smiling widely and showed us the way to the living room and gestured for us to sit on a red sofa which is complementing everything else in the room filled with different tones of red and orange. My mum shook her head before speaking

"I know she won't speak in front of me so I'm going to leave now"

"Yeong, is that okay with you?", I nodded with my lips in a thin line, palms sweating from being left alone with a stranger and the thought of opening up lingering in the air, making it heavy and suffocating

"We have an hour so we'll see you then. Thank you for bringing her", mum smiled at us one last time before turning around and leaving us alone. My heart started to beat at a fast pace, so loud I bet even the woman sitting across can hear it. My eyes are wandering and avoiding eye contact, it's like I'm searching for a way out

"For starters, you can call me Jasmine. Skip the formalities, you'll feel more comfortable if you accept me as your friend. We're not obligated to have the relationship of a psychiatrist and a patient because to me you're a cute little girl with some difficulties in life and I want to help"

"Okay", I answered briefly in hopes she'll leave me alone if I won't speak or cooperate

"You have a beautiful name, how did your parents settle for it?"

"Mum picked it"

"What about dad?", there it is. The tight knot in the throat from holding back tears, suppressing bad memories, emotions...

"You know, your mum gave me a call before you arrived and briefly explained the situation, she also told me you're a hard shell to break. Are you scared of being vulnerable?"

"I just don't want to bother mum with my problems. She has a lot to deal with as it is"

"Like what, for example?"

"A few weeks ago we discovered that she's ill. It's pretty serious, our country can't provide a lot of families with required medicine so there's that..."

"Are you mentally preparing yourself for her death?"

"Kind of. I don't want to, she's still here, I'd rather enjoy her company", Jasmine was already handing out tissues and I apologized as I wiped a few tears strolling down my cheeks

"Do you think your problems are insignificant?"

"I think I'm insignificant as a person in general"

"Have you always thought that way about yourself?", Jasmine furrowed her brows as if she's trying to express worry or something

"Yeah"

"Why?"

"Because I just don't think I'm anything special. I don't like myself"