Boy Meets D.Evil

1.33

TRUE ENDING: Yeong

TRIGGER WARNING

We all experience some sort of a click in our lives.

My teacher told me how one day she just woke up and knew god exists, she also said the same is going to happen to me. 

It did, but it was slightly different.

I didn't wake up with god on my mind, far from that.

Everyone figures something out, things just settle and you start making sense out of them. Like, what career you want to pursue, who you want to live with, what's your purpose or how to solve an ongoing dilemma in your life. 

That is why one day when I went to bed, stayed awake for a few hours, that click happened in my head. I felt inner peace for the first time ever, my mind wasn't clouded anymore and I was finally sure about something. It made perfect sense to me, it's the ultimate truth and the greatest certainty in this universe. What exactly is it that I figured out?

That I wasn't meant to be alive.

Months have passed from the last time I was with Min-Ji, my only and best friend. Isolation and loneliness wrote scripts for me which I obediently followed. I didn't have the strength to resist or write my own

"I'm so sorry, but it is what it is", Boyce spoke and I simply nodded with burning eyes from a sleepless night

"So, you were just using me and lying to me?", I repeated the facts since a small part of me still couldn't believe I allowed this to happen, the other 98% couldn't care less

"What can I say? I guess I did all of that"

"Okay", isn't he going to ask me something? Hasn't he noticed that I've changed? Doesn't he care even as a friend? Of course, no one does...

"I understand if you're going to avoid me from now on"

"No, I don't particularly care. This is our last goodbye anyway", I replied, packed my stuff and went on with my day which is going to turn into hell.

What's the best thing to do after a break-up?

Going to school to write exams.

Needless to say, it went awful. I'm too absent-minded, trying my best to stay awake and think of something to write. How did I end up like this? I used to have great memory and ace all of my exams, and now I'm struggling? 

My brain is slowly dying and I'm starting to feel the consequences. I couldn't think straight or focus properly, far from what I used to be capable of. How the fuck am I going to survive college? I can't even concentrate for an hour... it's so frustrating to watch myself die out like this. Everyone expects great things from me, everyone keeps pushing me so much I'm starting to malfunction like an old broken machine. 

Well, there's nothing I can do about it so... fuck it. I'm done with being under so much stress due to a failed system, all of us deserve better and our efforts shouldn't be in vain so why even try anymore?

I sat on a bench and watched my group practice. Everyone asked how come I'm not wearing my kimono and I just replied that I'm sick

"You look ill, everything alright?", I nodded with a smile and proceeded to observe. How badly do I want to join them... feel the energy flowing through my body and anger just leaving. But I've become too weak. My muscles have eaten themselves from too much stress, not enough sleep and food. I'm barely in condition to walk for a few minutes, let alone practice martial arts