God Sent

14- My God Sent

"Hey Z" he smiled warmly up at me.

"Hi asshole" I say pressing my back against the wall.

"I really fucked up this time huh?" he asked taking a drink.

"More than you can imagine" I answered studying him, for a second I saw the sixteen year old boy I fell so madly in love with.

"I didn't wanna ruin our friendship, so the possibility of ever making you mine I threw outside the window" he said not breaking eye contact, "...but the truth is I'm in love with you."

It took me a second to register what he just said, not that I had a good boy after me he decides he wants me, no that's not okay.

"You don't get to do that" I spit out angry, "You don't get to tell me you're in love with me."

"Always have been..." he signs taking another drink.

I stare at him in shock, God I have dreamt of this moment for most of my life and now it's here, and he's drunk and I'm not in love with him anymore.

"You're drunk Jai" I pointed out.

"And you're beautiful."

I searched his eyes, the warm brown wasn't there anymore, I noticed it was always there except for the times he directed his attention to me.

"I was in love with you and you where in love with her and now that you love me I'm in..." I stop myself. Am I in love with Harry?

"You'd rather start over with someone else? I know everything I know about your mom, your dad, Cameron, I even know about Austin. And Harry? What if its all too much for him? What if he gets tired of the shit show life you run?" He asked as tears formed in my eyes.

"Shut up Jai" I say, sounding defeated he smiles.

"I know you Zara, you're not going to let him in like you let me in."

Crying I stand there, shocked at how cruel he was being. He has a point, why on earth will Harry put up with me for?

"He's a good guy, he's not like all the others."

"Oh sweetheart, he's exactly like all the rest. Rich, famous, he has girls throwing themselves at him twenty four seven, people like them don't go for people like us, they get bored after a while."

"You had me!" I yell full on crying now, "You had me Jai, but you threw that away!"

The door swung open and there stood Harry and my brother, both looking fully aware of the situation.

"You'll learn your lesson Zara, he'll use you and throw you away like Austin did... just like your father threw you away."

"Fuck you Jai" I scream angry, bolting for him Harry stands in my way before I get to hit Jai.

"How hard?" he asks, making a kissing expression, furious I dodge Harry and lunge at him, grabbing his shirt I feel arms wrap around my waist, dragging  me out of the house.

Crying in frustration I fight back, kicking and punching, Harry I'm guessing, he sets me down outside.

"Let me get at him" I yell trying to get past him, he gets in my way again and I look into his eyes, dark and cold I begin to cry hysterically. 

"Lets go" he says sternly, not moving I sake my head. He grabs my hand and tries to lead me to his car but I stand my ground, "Zara lets go before I go into that house and beat the living shit out of Brooks."

Darting my eyes up to meet his I see that he's angry, so angry that he's shaking.

"Alright fine" he says taking a step towards the house.

"No, okay, fine, fine" I say taking hold of his arm, hugging it to my body trying to desperately stop him.

Speeding away I fasten my seat belt, I've never seen this side of him and it quite honestly scares me.

"Slow down" I command, a couple seconds pass and he complies, "Put your seat belt on too."

He does what I say and sighs in frustration running a hand roughly through his curls, "Did he touch you?" staring at him I watch him glance at me, "Zara answer me did that motherfucker t-"

"No... no he didn't" I say cautiously. Registering this side of Harry, I stare at him, shocked.

"Its not true, please know that" he speaks up after a while, his tone seemed calmer, "I won't throw you away, I'd never dare."

Wiping away my tears he signs, "Please stop crying, I don't like it when you cry."

When I didn't say anything stopped his car, we were a the beach.

"Who's Austin?"

My heart dropped, I never wanted Harry to know about him and now here he is asking me about the absolute worst mistake I ever made.

"My ex" I whisper, wiping the last of my tears.

"How bad did he hurt you?"

"He did more than just break my heart" I uttered watching the waves crash down by the shore, "He ruined things for me, mint chocolate chip ice cream, he used to love it and every time I'm at the store I remember just how much, he also ruined sunrises for me, that's why I love to sleep in so much, watching the sunrise reminds me of just how much his brown eyes sparkled in it. He ruined that for me too... brown eyes."

"You think you're over someone" I continue, "...and then it hits you all over again, a whole year later and it still burns. That's why I'm so scared of you, if Austin did more than just break my heart I can't imagine the damage you'd leave me with..."

"It hurts me that you went through all of that, all those men in your life they treated you like you were nothing. But God I prayed for someone like you and if you could see yourself the way I see you, you'd learn to love yourself so much it would hurt... You're my God sent Zara... and I think I'm yours too."

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Too cheesy of an ending???! sorry I'm tired and I kinda rushed it lol

but honestly speaking from experience, I was in a toxic relationship and it was horrible, if you're in one, was in one, think you're in one; I'm here if you need to talk. Just shoot me a message, you don't have to tell me your name or anything, we can just talk :)

After I got out of the relationship I became a Christian, don't get me wrong I'm not one of those 'if you're doing this you're going to hell' type of Christian people have twisted what the bible says, and to put it simple it says 'to love one another, not to judge' my job is to simply love you and everyone, so I'm here for you.

If you ever need to talk about anything! I'm always here :) You're beautiful and strong, always remember.