Namjin (Oneshots)

Crack

By the title you might misinterpret it as deep but it's exactly the opposite. It's some namjin crack I had the idea for as I try to complete other things. Might I worn you there will be mentions of a lot of dick and sex and namjin and another two ships I want you to guess. And In my last update I said there would be an author note... there wasn't so um my bad. I couldn't remember what I wanted to write so. Alright without further ado....
~~~~~~~~~~~

"Who the fuck decided to fuck in the bathroom at the awards last night?!" Yoongi yells knowing damn well it wasn't him. "Huh?" Hoseok asked looking over the shorter's shoulder. Immediately he paled "they know...they know there's a couple in bangtan what the fuck are we supposed to do?!" Hoseok asked very well panicking.

"It's not like anyone really thought we were straight" Namjoon shrugs as Yoongi glares "yes. They. Did. At least they wanted to, Korean army's are freaking out and not in a good way...well mostly, the happy responses are mostly from the international army" Yoongi then sits down on the couch rubbing his face.

"Well my bad" Namjoon says scratching his neck. "You... you fucked Seokjin in the bathroom didn't you?" Hoseok asked only getting a smirk in response.

"At least they don't know who was fucking" Namjoon puts in Yoongi jumping over the couch to strangle the other. "Whoa there kitty cat" Hoseok says pulling the other back.

"I heard Yoongi" Jimin says falling out of the roof making everyone previously in the room scream. Except namjoon because he's a real one.

"Jesus Jimin, I said kitty." Hoseok says "I heard Yoongi?" Jungkook then appears out of nowhere blinking a bit as Jimin shrugs. "I'm done with all your guys' bullshit" Yoongi mumbles.

"No one is going to suspect me and Seokjin we're so not obvious. Obviously." Namjoon says "I mean I barley touch him on camera hell I'm not that touchy when he's right in front of-" Namjoon was soon cut off by seokjin stumbling around the corner.

"We were caught Namjoon" he says Namjoon immediately rushing to his hubby's side holding the other close. "What if we get fired or-or" Seokjin panics, Namjoon mumbling comforting words in the other ear.

"So much for 'not being obvious'" Yoongi says sighing.

/;-;-(/(:(-;/(/(-(/(-;(/(-

It was a few weeks later and armys nor the press was settling down. So the boys were quite happy when they left for another tour.

Of course not really as they were all bum ass lazy and didn't feel like going through the bullshit again.

Like every past time they went on tour (worldwide) one of their first things they had to do was (practice) interviews.

"So what's the next next next step?" The same white guy asked the same questions and immediately Yoongi answered in Korean. "A better Grammy award than the art of our fucking album cover" he said to which Namjoon translates.

"Two grammy's" he said with an obvious fake smile. "Alright- another question" the white guy who's name couldn't be less important to the members.

"Who's dating who?"

"Fucking shit don't be obvious!" Hoseok says immediately in Korean, Namjoon sighing his heart out.

"Idiot they didn't know that the rumors were true!" Taehyung says as Jungkook slumps against his chair in disappointment.

"I'm sorry but that's for us to know and you to-" Namjoon was cut off "I .... hope you guys..... don' find out- for real" Jimin says.

"Could we at least get a member?" The white guy asked again obviously not realizing that this could danger their career.

"No" Namjoon answers simply. "Oh...well um" the white guy clears his throat. "Namjoon's mad~" Taehyung teases. "Shut your ass up!" Namjoon curses in Korean.

"It's not my fault that you fucked Seokjin in the bathroom" Taehyung says before his face pales. "My bad."

The whole group let's out curses and groans. "This is why I should have listened to my parents and studied in law" Jimin mumbles. "Taehyung! Jeez you and your big ass mouth" Yoongi sighs.

"You're just jealous because your mouth is small especially wrapped around this dick!" Hoseok says the members freezing.

"HOSEOK!"

"I have zero regrets" Hoseok mumbles. "You don't know the half of it Hoseok, really, you know how tight Yoongi is? After every time too" Taehyung shook his head as Jungkook gagged.

"Don't act grossed out because you know it just as well with Jimin" Taehyung crosses his arms as jungkook pales. Immediately Jimin jumps up to choke out Taehyung the other members having to hold him back.

Meanwhile the American white male (there was no reason for me to put the white there like that a/n) still was lost as his translator wasn't translating wondering  why they invited these Korean men for a third time around.

"You guys! This is our first live- they can't edit it out!" Seokjin spoke up his face still redder than a tomato. "Huh?" The rest of the members responded before freezing in place.

They looked to each of the cameras before groaning. "We're gonna get fired"

———-

"Your fired"

"What?! I would've never expected this! How could you bang pd-nim!?" Taehyung gasps holding his heart. The outburst was fake. He would be happy to see his family again along with working on the farm and playing his saxophone.

"W-was it me? I-I'll sing better I promise! I'll e-even tr-try to dance better" Seokjin sobbed. Of course it was fake, his father gave him money when he asked and he was still qualified for acting. Knowing he was gay only sent the western girls through their "gay Asian" fetishes and that meant more money for him.

Taehyung shook his head at their managers holding a 'crying' Seokjin to his chest.

Long story short the two actors got a million won to each of the members which still isn't enough for each of their hard work but they'd take it.

Some ice cream. Because why the fuck wouldn't they want some fucking ice cream?

And a three day notice to get the fuck out of the company.

Once they were out and settled into normal day life all of the Army's all over the world flew their asses to Seoul South Korea and lit fire to the company for "putting their oppas on the street you homophobic cunt ass, bitch ass, no testicles having ass, pig ass fucks!"

Moral of the story: don't.