HIM ♕ Jason McCann

Chapter Twenty Eight

Now awoken, Felicia continued to wonder Jason's intentions behind the last line of the verse. How his whole demeanor changed as if something bad was going to happened. She'd started to question her reality. What if this was all a big nightmare? No, it wasn't. Nightmares don't give you bliss, but they give you fear, she thought. The harsh downpour of rain outside her windows conformed to her thoughts, unintentionally. Somehow, she had always despised the rainy weather. She felt as if it was bringing all kinds of negativity with it. 

She slid out of bed, choosing to ignore her thoughts, rather than allowing them to ruffle her. Her reflection displayed a happy and cheerful girl, just like the time back then. Her once distorted figure was finally being replaced by repaired and a girl who had been fixed. Maybe, this wouldn't have had happened if it weren't for Jason, she thought. The poor girl couldn't get any sillier than she already was. If only, she was aware of the dubious situations she was going to face, ahead of her. 

Once she was done with her morning routine, she had gone up to the dining room as she called out, "Ma!" Her mother's midget figure soon appeared in front of her, as she mouthed her daughter that breakfast was going to be ready soon and that her daughter can take a eat. In the meantime, her father managed to wake up and soon, seated himself on the dining table. 

Felicia looked around the dining table. Things were finally going back to normal, she thought. Normal didn't mean that she had earned her parents' trust. At least, not yet. But, she was confident that she would, even if that meant sneaking Jason in behind her parents' back. Her thoughts were interrupted as their parents' had started a conversation with her. 

"So, how's school, beta?" Her father asked her. Felicia smiled internally as she realized that his father was calling her his little nickname, again. "It's going well, Papa." 

Her mother decided to join in the conversation by cracking a little joke, "Is that Lea girl still moody like before?" The question made everyone burst into fits of laughter, as Felicia remembered complaining so much on how Lea was always too-faced and fickle-minded. If only their parents knew about how frequent Jason's mood changed, she thought. But, she still wanted to be around him. Maybe, this was love. Their conversation continued as they talked about various issues regarding school and obviously, how Felicia should start being more trust-worthy towards them. 

"Felicia, we have decided to give you one chance on this. Please don't betray our trust, beta." The gullible mother and father told her, their eyes filled with a sense of obscure hurt and fear of their daughter doing something unspeakable, again. Those sentences, once again, made Felicia feel guilty as she questioned her love.

Was it really worth it? She asked herself. Was it really love when she questioned it multiple times? Maybe, love was worth fighting for. Maybe, love was something which was meant to be vague, yet at the same time, something which reveals your self for others. She was caught  in between the dubious battle within herself. But, her belief was stronger than the guilt she felt. She really did love Jason. 

"Yes, Ma and Pa." She replied, lying through her gritted teeth. Her parents smile at her, pulling her into a bear hug, something which Felicia hasn't experienced for so long. Their warmth only increases the feeling of guilt in her, but her so called love for Jason still appeared stronger than the guilt and the feeling of betrayal towards her parents. 

Her parents soon left for work, leaving her alone to the house. A nap seemed like the perfect option to get rid of her mischievous thoughts. Regardless of how much effort she put, she just couldn't seem to forget about Jason's words. 

"Now, it's beyond too late." 

The same exact sentence ringed through her ears. She was confused as to what it was too late for. Was there a specific reason why he included that line? She thought. Compared to the rest of the lyrics in the verse, this line seemed completely irrelevant. She just couldn't understand the hidden meaning behind that line. 

Her thoughts were soon clouded by the mist of sleep as her eyes closed while her body relaxed at the dizziness. The emptiness felt due to the bad feeling from Jason's words was not going to be disappearing anytime soon, but maybe sleep can be used as a temporary escape from her inevitable thoughts. 

~~~  

Meanwhile, Jason let out a puff of smoke from the current blunt he was rolling up. Tomorrow was the day, he thought to himself. He smirked to himself as he remembered Felicia's beguiling face. Oh, how better it would look if it were otherwise. The time to put an end to his flawless acting had finally come. He managed to trap Felicia's innocence around his finger, now, longing for nothing but, his desire which was yet to come true. 

The desire which was better left unsaid, or maybe not.