Battle Scars (destiel AU)

Iris

chapter 8:

This chapter is based off the song Iris by Goo Goo Dolls

D E A N POV:

I rap my fist against the door to the Milligan's. "Coming!" A voice, probably Gabe's, calls from inside. I hear his footsteps thunder down the hall way.

"Hey Deano! What can I help you with?" He asks smirking.

"I-uh is Cas here?"

"Erm no, why?" He asks.

"Becasue I can't find him, he's not answering my calls. Something is wrong. And I thought he'd be here."

"Well he's not. You can check his room to see if you can figure out where he is, otherwise I can't help you bucko" I just push past him and run up the stairs to Cas's room. I open the door and walk inside. It smells like him.

I search around for a while until I open the last drawer in his desk. A small piece of paper lies on the bottom of the drawer. I pick it up. All it is is a black and white picture of a bridge.

I sit down on his bed, the picture in my hand.

I run my fingers over the worn black comforter. "Oh Cas, where the hell are you now?" I ask the nothing. All I can think about is the way it felt to lay with him here. On the night after the party at Lisa's.

I mean yeah, I was wasted but it was still amazing.

"Cas," I muttered messing with the top button on Cas's pollo shirt, "you-you are beautiful!"i exclaimed.

"Yeah, and you're drunk" he whispered back.

"That- that doesn't matter Cassie. I can still think for myself, and I think you're beautiful and I'm almost always correct!" I smirked.

Cas returned the smile. "Dean."

"Yeah?"

"I-I um..."

"You um what?"

"I'm re-" I cut him off knowing what he was going to say by slamming my lips against his.

"You don't even have to finish that sentence. I know what you're trying to say." I whispered. Cas smiled against my lips. I smiled back.

I moved my hands up to the collar of his shirt. I unbuttoned each button slowly incase he changed his mind. He didn't

"Dean-"

"Yeah?" I mumble pulling his polo off his arms. I felt him wince as the white fabric slid over the red lines decorating his wrists.

"I love you."

"I know" I mumbled.

"Did you really just use a star wars line?"

"Yes."

"Dweeb" He laughed.

"Don't dis Star Wars because if you do then you're the dweeb."

"That's not how it works Dean!"

"Uhh yeah it is." He rolled his eyes and leaned forward continuing to press his lips to mine. He slid his hands down my arms, gently pulling off my leather jacket.

My breathing slows down as I look around. His room, perfect as it always is. All the clothes neatly folded and put away. Bed made. No clutter on the desk. I breath out. Closing my eyes I feel a tear slide down my cheek. I wipe it away.

It's soon replaced by another tear. And another.

"Ugh damn it! Cas! Where are you?" I scream.

"Breathe Dean breathe. It'll be okay. Cas'll be okay." I try and convince myself. I know it's not though.

"Cas?"

"Mm" he mumbled reassuring me he was awake.

"I love you."

"Yeah."

"I love you like, like a lot." I sighed.

"I love you like a lot too." He smiled kissing my fore head. I rested my head on his bare chest.  He ran his fingers through my hair. I smiled at the way his touch felt. The way it felt to be with him. His blue eyes. Beautiful and bright. Lately they hadn't been. His hands. In mine. His quirky little side smile.

"Oh god." I mumble, "I have to find him." The back of my throat burns. I want to cry, but I can't. I can't cry. Not now.

I flip over the picture of the bridge. Cas' square handwriting is scrawled over the back in splotchy red ink.

"Goodbye Stranger." I drop the photo on the ground. Goodbye stranger. The bridge. I remember. It's clear now that the photo was meant for me to find. I take off down the stairs.

 "Dean where are we going?" 

"Shut up and keep your eyes closed." I smiled.

i parked my car right by the bridge that goes over the lake. "Okay you can open them now." Cas smirked and opened his eyes.

"Wow." He murmmered. "It's very pretty up here." He smiled.

"Yeah...I know. Sammy and I used to come up here all the time on our bikes and watch the water. We just kind of stopped." I saied the water pulling me into a trance.

"The water is rather beautiful..." I smiled and turned Cas' head toward mine. The song switches to a different one. "Really Dean? Supertramp?"

"Yeah...if you don't like it then you can walk home" I joked. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to Castiels'.

'Goodbye stranger it's been nice...hope you find your paradise.'

Our lips moved in sync together.

'Tried to see your point of view...hope your dreams will all come true."

The impala skids to a halt. I jump out and take off running.

"Cas!" I scream, "Cas!" I look around for him. I can't give up. I see him holding on to the edge of the railing. I run over to him,  tears dripping down his face he looks at me. "Cas" I whisper.

"Dean..."

"Cas please get down from there." I say tears starting to come out the corners of my eyes.  "Please." He shakes his head.

"I can't"

"Why?"

"Because...because I just want it to end."

"What?"

"All the suffering. Pain."

"Cas, it-it won't help. Cas it won't end. It'll make it worse. Please." He stands there considering. And then slowly he pulls himself over the barrier. He falls into my arms. Crying.

"It's okay now Cassie. I've got you." I whisper holding him close. Breathing evenly. I breathe out. "I've got you..."

Authors note:

Hi guys! Sorry the update is so late. I've just been pretty busy because school for me starts on Tuesday. So updates won't be very frequent and I'm sorry for that :/

Also I'm working on another fic so that's pretty exciting. Thank you all so much for reading and I'll try and get the next update out as soon as possible.

xx Abby