Battle Scars (destiel AU)

The End...

I remember the day I met him. Castiel. He had fallen victim to Benny. I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. I was in love with him yesterday. I'm in love with him today. But, the thing is it hurts to love something thats gone.

Not gone, but gone. And I miss him. More than anything I could put into words.

When I think about him it makes my chest hurt and my eyes water. And my heart feels like it's going to explode. And me not thinking about Castiel Novak is like you without air.

I remember the day I lost him. Oh hell do I. I could never forget. I'm the one who found him. He looked happy. At peace. I'd never seen him not sad. But this? I wish he'd been like that before it happened.

I remember how I found him. Crumpled up in a ball. Tear marks on his cheeks. The empty bottles of pills next to him. Oh so many botles it was. How I wanted to hold him in my arms once more. To hear his voice again. But it wasn't the end. He wasn't quite gone. Not yet. Falling to my knees I knew it was too late. I pulled my baby into my arms for the last time.

"i love you so so much" I murmured holding his face in my hands. He swallowed.

"i l-love y-you more th-than any-t-thing in the wh-whole uni-universe. I have n-never seen any-th-thing as be-beautiful as y-you  i-in my enti-tire exsistance D-dean Winch-chester. A-and I h-hate to say goodbye. But all good things must come to an end." Tears streamed down my face. And his. Together we cried. For the last time. I watched the light fade from his bright blue eyes. I knew I'd never love again.

"No!" I sobbed, "Don't-don't go! Don't leave me! Please Cas!" I could barely talk the pain took over so quickly. I held his almost lifeless body in my hands "Please don't leave me." I whispered. He smiled...one last time.

"Goodbye my love"

---

And just like that. My whole world ended. Everything I was fell apart in my arms. And that was that.

The world never changed for Castiel Novak. And it never would. My world was never the same. I tried to keep going but the road always lead here. To the end of the bottle and the edge of a blade.

I'd do anything to be with him.  I guess it's time to take a leap of faith. Into the void. So here I stand at the edge of the roof. The whiskey bottle in my hand. His sweater covering my torso. My black converse hanging just near the edge. One second and this all ends. One second and I am forgotten. One second and my memory falls apart. 

One second and I find serenity. So it's worth it. "I'll see you soon"  I murmured, flexing my feet over the edge.

"Just one leap of faith..."