The Things That I Left Behind..

Chapter-81

I heard knocks on my door.
I stood up to glance at myself and I winced at my appearance.
My eyes were swelled a bit and I looked bad kind of weird.
Nonetheless I opened and I found Mrs Smith holding a plate of chocolate cake.
I looked surprised as she gave me the plate and spoke,"Chocolate elevates the mood."
I don't even need to ask her how she knew.
My sobs were louder I guess.
I accept the plate graciously and thank her before she smiles and goes out.
Mr Smith has been busy lately.
I look back at the plate when I hear the doorbell.
I don't think much before opening the door.
I am surprised to find Susan.
I guess I forgot to tell Susan that I am not going to wedding.
I speak,"Uh. I am not going to wedding?"
Susan looks at me and says,"I know."
A bit confused,I asked,"Um.then?"
She enters the house and says,"We are having a girls night..I mean girls day in.We will eat lots of junk,watch rom com and say that "Boys are shitty creatures who broke our heart!" "
Baffled,I ask,"But it isn't boys who always.."
Susan shuts me up as she glares and says,"Don't glorify on gender equality right now. We are here to enlighten our mood. Fine we will skip that line though."
I laugh and help her arrange snacks and decide to watch rom com.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"But you both were so cute! I even gave my approval."
Susan cried out while I handed her the tissues.
Turns out,I didn't cry out at rom com but Susan did.
At the end,I was comforting her.
I patted her back as she spoke,"Imagine you both. Oh gosh! I shipped you guys."
I couldn't help but ask,"You do know we were friends not lovers."
She swatted My hand and spoke,"You both did act like ones except the kissing. You both were so possessive and damn that flirting. I wanted to puke."
I flirted?
I knew flirting?
But when did I flirt?
I had a mini breakdown but then decided it probably didn't matter.
I probably ruined our friendship last night but I didn't have strength to write back a sorry.
But then I was not apologetic about what happened at last so I guess it's fine.
I speak,"I did warn him that I was in bad mood. It's just it's always he assumes. He thinks what he thinks is correct. He doesn't even accept that."
Susan stops crying as I sniff,before continuing,"I think I ruined my friendship there. I am so tired of being told that I think I snapped yesterday on one person that I cared."
I bury my face as I sob while Susan pats my back.
Susan seems to hesitate before she says," When he came home, he was pretty much in bad mood. He skipped his meals and sulked at the corner. When I asked him reason,he told that he was going to miss me that's why but we both knew that was a bullshit reason for skipping meals and all that so he ousted me out of his room but then I think I heard him cry."
At her words,I cried louder while Susan hugged me.
I couldn't help but say," Is this my fault? Have I wrecked everything?"
Susan shook her head and spoke,"Nothing is ruined. I think you both were at fault. I mean you did warn him that you were in bad mood so he should have stopped but then things escalated."
I hiccuped as she handed me a glass of water and silently drank it.
We stayed silent before I asked,"Don't you have a wedding to attend?"
She shakes her head and answers," We weren't even that close. But you and bro are my priority."
I smile at her before she tosses me a tissue and says,"Come on wipe on those tears, we are going to watch Magic Mike."
And I end up laughing.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

As I sat down on my bed, I looked back at my luggage.
Everything was packed.
I sat down to type a message for Aditya.

Dear Aditya,

We had a fight last night. I don't know if you were right or I was. Honestly I have stopped caring about whose fault it was. But it brought me to tears, that our single fight has jeopardised our relation.Generally people fight on trivial things that don't jeopardise their relation with each other.
I will not sit and lie that it's okay. It makes me fear that if in future, if we ever meet again,will we be same?
I understood your point on why for you seeing is believing. But please understand, I have built myself to this point by relying on my belief. I have made wrong choices but I am fully capable of taking their responsibility. After my whole marriage thing, I have started acting on my instinct. My old self would have never picked up a pen to write to Susan, instead she would be in corner, still in regrets that she lost her chance. My old self,wouldn't be writing this letter.
Initially I did think that writing that Goodbye was the end,but I knew somewhere that you did care for me too. That's what I believe. I will not deny that you are uptight,strict or rude but I will agree that you are funny,responsible and someone I will always rely on. Someone I have always believed in.
Since, I am confessing all these stuff,I will also not deny that I do see you more as a friend.
Oh and not 'booty call'.
Hahahahha you got the joke?
You are special to me. I won't say that I was not disappointed that you reacted like it didn't matter to you that I left. But it's okay, life has thrown a lot of things at me and I will accept this too.
At the end, I don't know how you will react,just don't message back. I will be all awkward.
I will miss you. You are welcome at our house.
And you will always remain my bestie!
(Unless you screw up or I do or maybe we do..Yikes)
Bye!

~Sara.