AN: I FINALLY UPDATED!!!!!!!
Now on with the story
*Ashton's POV*
Rehearsals didn't go so well. I guess you could say that since I've been locked in my room I didn't play for a little bit. Of course the other boys did well and here I was breaking a bunch of drumsticks.
I think the reason why I didn't do so well is because in the middle of rehearsals Amber showed up. Don't get me wrong she's a nice girl I just would've liked it better if she didn't show up.
And the final thing to add to my list of why rehearsals didn't go so well is because the boys started getting annoyed with me. While on break Calum, Luke, and Michael all huddled together and started talking leaving me out. They probably were talking about how big of a fail I am. At least Amber was nice enough to come talk to me while the other three left me out.
When we left rehearsals we got in the car and went back to the house before the concert that night. When I got into the car I immediately put in my earbuds shutting the world out.
Music is my other escape from the cruel thing called life. Music and cutting are my only ways of letting out all my pain. (This is also true for me) I decided to listen to Pierce The Veil's album Collide With The Sky. While I was listening King for a Day came on.
[Vic Fuentes & Kellin Quinn]
Dare me to jump off of this Jersey bridge?
I bet you never had a Friday night like this
Keep it up, keep it up, let's raise our hands
I take a look up at the sky and I see red
Red for the cancer, red for the wealthy
Red for the drink that's mixed with suicide
Everything red
[Kellin Quinn]
Please, won't you push me for the last time
Let's scream until there's nothing left
So sick of playing, I don't want this anymore
The thought of you's no fucking fun
You want a martyr, I'll be one
Because enough's enough, we're done
[Vic Fuentes]
You told me think about it, well I did
Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore
I'm tired of begging for the things that I want
I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor
[Vic Fuentes]
The thing I think I love
Will surely bring me pain
Intoxication, paranoia, and a lot of fame
Three cheers for throwing up
Pubescent drama queen
You make me sick, I make it worse by drinking late
[Kellin Quinn]
Scream until there's nothing left
So sick of playing, I don't want to anymore
The thought of you's no fucking fun
You want a martyr I'll be one
Because enough's enough, we're done
[Vic Fuentes]
You told me think about it, well I did
Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore
I'm tired of begging for the things that I want
I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor
[Kellin Quinn]
Imagine living like a king someday
A single night without a ghost in the walls
And if the bass shakes the earth underground
We'll start a new revolution now
(Now! Alright here we go)
[Vic Fuentes]
Hail Mary, forgive me
Blood for blood, hearts beating
Come at me, now this is war!
Fuck with this new beat
Oh!
[Kellin Quinn & Vic Fuentes]
Now terror begins inside a bloodless vein
I was just a product of the street youth rage
Born in this world without a voice or say
Caught in the spokes with an abandoned brain
I know you well but this ain't a game
Blow the smoke in diamond shape
Dying is a gift so close your eyes and rest in peace
[Vic Fuentes]
You told me think about it, well I did
Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore
I'm tired of begging for the things that I want
I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor
[Kellin Quinn]
Imagine living like a king someday
A single night without a ghost in the walls
We are the shadows screaming take us now
[Vic Fuentes]
We'd rather die than live to rust on the ground
Shit"
The lyrics Red for the drink that's mixed with suicide speak to me.
The red drink is my my blood that I thirst to see run down my wrists after I cut. And suicide. I want to commit so badly but I'm afraid. I'm afraid to do it. I don't know why I mean no one will miss me.
I've been wanting to do it for a while now. But there's a problem. I'm afraid. And also I think I deserve to feel this pain instead of just dying and not feel anything at all. I deserve every hate comment and every slice to my wrist.
I deserve it all.
~
AN:
I have updated don't you worry. I'm not dead. I've been so busy with school it's not even funny.
I'm not able to update as much as I want but I'll try.
Sorry if the song lyrics are wrong. I tried.
Thanks for the support I've been getting on this story.
I kinda wanna delete this story but then I realized that people actually read this and enjoy it. Those people are what make me want to continue this story and that what we shall do.
Sorry this is short because I'm in a hurry and plus this is unedited.
I'll try and update soon and if I don't please don't panic because I'm not going anywhere.
Let's go with 2+ comments and votes.
Also
Love Y'all
Stay Fab!
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Some Secrets Are Meant To Be Kept[Lashton]
Fanfiction*Triggering* Ashton Irwin. The drummer for the band 5 Seconds of Summer. He is a closeted gay and plans to keep it that way. He has a crush on his best friend and fellow band mate Luke Hemmings. But Luke Hemmings is straight and has a beautiful girl...