Some Secrets Are Meant To Be Kept[Lashton]

Chapter 11

AN: Unedited and UPDATE!!!!

*Ashton's POV*

Shit.

Luke eavesdropped on my conversation with Michael and Calum. He heard everything. He heard about my confession the thing I wanted to keep a secret from him.

Why?

Why did he have to find out?

A million thoughts ran through my head when I realized something. That's why he's been so awkward around me. It all makes sense as to why he's been so awkward.

All of the sudden I had an itch. An itch to cut.

'No' I thought to myself.

Yes. Do it. You deserve it. You're a fag. You're ugly. You're fat. You're worthless it's no wonder nobody loves you. Especially Luke. That's why he has such a beautiful girlfriend. You're to ugly for someone like him to love.

My self-conscious is right. I am all those things. I didn't bother to listen to the rest of the conversation. I slammed my door and went straight to the poster with my paintbrush.

The only thing on my mind is the brush against its canvas painting with crimson red.

I grabbed the blade and went to my bathroom shutting and locking the door sliding down the wall. I put the blade against my skin and added a little pressure gliding it on my wrist.

It felt like I was on Cloud 9 when a sense of relief washed over. I kept repeating this process until I started to feel light headed.

I looked down at my wrist and smiled. Now it's not the smile that the fans find 'adorable'. It's a sick eating grin that you would probably see a murderer have after they get the rush of a kill.

I stood up from my position on the floor and washed my cuts. I started soaking the blade in hot water so I can wipe the blood off of it.

After I was everything I look in the mirror.

So fat.

So ugly.

So worthless.

So untalented.

I shook myself out of thoughts and looked back in the mirror and realized something.

The monster that's been living in me for a while now also has dull hazel eyes and curly hair.

That monster is me.

~

AN:

There we go with Chapter 11!

The feedback I have been getting from you guys is amazing!!

I'm not in a good mood though.

You probably don't want to hear or in this case read my rant but I need to vent something out.

So I decided to watch the King For A Day music video because that music video and song are the shit. Anyways I decided to look through the comments and one comment pissed me off so hard.

'Why do people say that this band saved them. I mean you live in a first class/world country your life is perfect'

That comment pissed me off so much because even though I live in a country where everything is perfect it's not.

I have the scars to prove it.

These bands write songs that have meaning to them and it's another one of my escapes when I try to fight my urge to harm myself. Like they don't know what people go through.

It's like get a fucking education before you fucking post a comment that makes you look like a dumb little shit.

That's all for my little rant!

Now I have to do homework and I'll try and update as soon as possible!

GOAL: 4+ votes and comments

Love Y'all

Stay Fab!!!!