Sleeping With the Enemy

Chapter Three

I stayed at Brodo talking to Alex so long that by the time I leave, it's dark outside. When Herrera asked me if I would need a car, I turned him down, because this is New York. Everything I could ever really need is in walking distance, and the condo we picked out is just down the street from the bar. 

As I walk home, though, I'm starting to rethink that decision. I'm just as exhausted mentally as I am physically after a long day of travel and then my conversation with Alex. All I can think about is falling into my bed for a short nap before having to get up and play my part again.

I have to admit that it's a little harder than I thought it would be, being back here among so many memories and reminders. I thought it would be easy to come back. To hold my resolve. To remember why I was so angry with the Avenettis. I've spent one afternoon with Alex, and I already know that isn't going to be true. As badly as I want the Avenettis to pay for what happened to my parents, they're still my family, too. No amount of time or distance can change that. It's going to be the fight of my life not to give myself away.

I should be thrilled. I compost exactly what I said out to do, and everything is working perfectly so far, but that doesn't stop the overwhelming knot of guilt the tangles in my chest. I hate lying to Alex the way I did, especially when he was so willing to help me the second he heard we were struggling. He didn't even press me on what was going on or what I'd been doing for the last several years, just welcomed me back with open arms as if I'd never left.

Still, it's not like they're saints. They're mixed up in some pretty awful shit and I'll have to keep that at the front of my mind if I want to get through this with any semblance of a conscious left.

Not to mention, it's the only chance that item and I have. If I can't get her or what he wants, both of our lives are over, and everything we've been through over the last few years will be in vain. Nothing can come in the way of that. Nothing and no one.

The wind chills me to my bones as I walk home, so, instead of a nap, I opt for a hot shower. The pounding water on my back feels heavenly, and I stay in until the heat has washed out and it's cold again. As I start getting ready, I send a quick text to Adam just to check in. He's back at school, under Herrera's watchful eye, and he has no idea what I'm up to. Knowing that he would try to stop me, I didn't tell him.

I'm all for Adam, taking responsibility for his actions, but this was a mistake. This isn't the person he truly is, and there's no way I'm going to let this one slip up define his entire life. Especially when I've been trying so hard to keep him away from all of this. If all goes according to plan, I'll get the job done and get home before Adam really even knows what's going on. Protection for Adam while I'm gone was part of my deal with Herrera, and I'll sleep a little easier at night knowing that if Rivas and his men come after him, Herrera is there.

Once I'm ready, I call a cab, not willing to brave the chilly air again, even for just a few blocks.

Alex was right. By the time I arrive, the place is packed. There's an hour wait for a table, and the bar area is standing room only. Alex is behind the bar himself when I walk in, and I wave sheepishly once he makes eye contact with me.