Chapter Twenty Eight

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9 Years Ago

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9 Years Ago

I stand on my tiptoes, balancing along the cement ledge that goes along the pier, gazing into the water below me. The drop on one side is only a few feet high, but on the other it's much more treacherous. It's about twenty feet to the sharp lava rocks below that the ocean waves crash violently into. One tiny slip and there will be no way of catching myself.

It's getting dark, and Brandon and I are almost the only ones left up here now. It's always one of our favorite places to come and watch the sunset, although tonight, I might as well be alone.

Brandon sits just a few feet away from me, dead to the outside world. His expression is pensive as he stares down at whatever it is he's looking at on his phone. He's been this way since we got here, but he brushed it off when I asked him about it. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where his mind is at, though. It seems like work is all he thinks about anymore and although neither one of us speak about it, I can feel the tension mounting between us. Brandon is starting to get more responsibility within the group, and while he loves every second of it, it's really wearing on me.

If it was my choice, I never would choose this life, but Brandon lives and breathes for it. He loves being needed and is quickly solidifying his value to the group. He is brilliant, and when he wants to apply himself, he is unstoppable. Never once did Brandon question his position here, but for me, it's a daily occurrence. I'm constantly thinking about what else is out there, and what life I can have beyond all of this violence and bullshit. Brandon is pulling away from his life as an eighteen-year-old kid, and farther into the furloughs of the Mafia, while I am clawing my way to as normal of a life as I can possibly get. I'm worried about my math test next week and what dress I'll wear to Homecoming, and Brandon is concerned with weapon trades and cleaning up crime scenes. We're moving in two very different directions, and right now, I feel a million miles away from Brandon.

We'll have to have a conversation about it soon, but it can wait. I try to push all of those thoughts out of my mind and enjoy one of the last true nights of fall we'll get this year. Soon, it will be too cold to be close to the water like this, let alone walking along the breakers in a pair of shorts and my boyfriend's flannel.

"Why don't we walk down to Ingrid's and get some ice-cream?" I suggest, swinging my arms along my sides as I dance closer to him.

No answer.

"Brandon? Did you hear me? I want to go to Ingrid's." I try to mask the irritation in my voice.

"Whatever you want, babe." He's placating me now. He glances up and his face twists in frustration. "Will you get your ass down from there? You're going to get yourself killed."

At least he is paying attention to me now. "You know, Mrs. Dimanna asked me where you were for Physics again today... People are going to start thinking something is wrong with you if I have to keep using the doctor's appointment excuse." I arch my eyebrow at him. He's missed so much school to take care of things at the warehouse that it feels like all I do is lie for him.

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