Stall

Chapter 18.

"Carve your name into my arm
Instead of stressed I lie here charmed
'Cause there's nothing else to do
Every me and every you"

***

This month has been... Different to the last.

As sure as I was that I wouldn't see Harry again, it's been the exact opposite.

He started coming by my work again, walking in with that same charismatic smile like he owned the place.

He has Maurine wrapped around his finger, she's always patting him on the cheek and telling how lovely of a boy he is, always reminding him not to forget to drop by again soon.

I don't miss the way he watches me at work, and he's started a habit of sending me text messages while he's there. Making vulgar or lewd remarks just to watch me nearly drop my phone or have to explain to Maurine why I look so flustered.

I remember the day I was standing on a step ladder, cleaning off the menu chalk board when my phone vibrated in my apron, when I pulled it out to check it I dropped the wash cloth and nearly fell backwards at the same time.

Harry:
Received 12.03pm
Do us a favour and slip and fall off that onto my face darling :)

I earned an amused chuckle from Harry from gripping onto the ladder like a scared cat.

Maurine had asked what was going on and Harry simply smiled innocently at her saying "Nothing, I was just telling Abby she looks like she needs to sit down"

He's a safety hazard.

A sinful bloody hazard.

The other habit that started, which has left me sleepless many times wondering what the cause is, were his desperate calls in the middle of the night, they weren't too often, but they happened.

It would always result in the same thing, me turning up at his house to a destroyed looking Harry, sometimes he was off his face, other times he just looked broken. They ended with us tangled in his bed, staying wrapped around each other till the next morning, sometimes having small conversations, sometimes just staying silent, until we fell asleep.

Not once has he ever remotely given me an answer to what's been wrong, and after the first two nights I just stopped asking, deciding to just try to comfort him the best I can, because I realised that's what he was after.

Sometimes he reminded me of a small child after a nightmare, needing to be reassured and soothed back to sleep, other times he just reminded me of a shell, completely blank and nothing inside.

I may not see him everyday, and some days I have no idea where he is, he just reappears like nothing happened, and I've almost become used to the routine of it.

I'm still just as confused as when this whole thing started, and I always have this sick feeling in my stomach that one day he won't come striding though the front door at my work, or that my phone won't ring in the middle of the night.

I'm just clinging to it while it lasts I guess.

.....And I guess the other major difference this month is that I left Andy.

It was only a couple of days after the night Harry took me home, I couldn't handle the guilt any more. If I loved Andy as much as I thought I did, I wouldn't be feeling these things towards Harry. I would never want to lead someone on or toy with their emotions, there's nothing more cruel than false hope.

I knew I was walking a dangerous tightrope spending time with Harry, so I decided to end things before I slipped and fell, doing something I couldn't come back from.