The Girl Who Found The Darkness

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

            A month has passed since Ethan died. It is now early December. I haven’t heard from Ben since that day. I haven’t even caught a glance of him. He just….. Disappeared. I guess he might feel guilty about not helping Ethan. I certainly am mad at him about it. I mean, he could’ve saved Ethan. He could’ve stepped up and told David it wasn’t Ethan, and David couldn’t hurt him since he’s already dead. But I can see why he didn’t do that. Then his whole cover would be blown, and David would probably lock me up in a closet or something. And I still miss him a lot. He was my only support, besides Chloe and Marsa.

            Speaking of Marsa, she’s not doing very well. She’s still not over Ethan’s death, and I really can’t blame her. He was the only support she had since they were 10, and now he’s gone. Ethan’s death hit Marsa really hard. For almost a week afterwards, she refused to come out of the cellar. She only came out when David threatened to kill Chloe and I if she didn’t come out. After that, David moved her upstairs so he could keep a closer eye on her. Even now, I can hear her crying when I pass by her room at night.

            Chloe is probably doing the best out of the three of us. Chloe has always been the level-headed one in situation like this. For example, when we almost got expelled highschool for accidentally spray painting our science teacher’s classroom (long story). Or, when there’s a pop quiz in math class. Either way, Chloe knows to stay calm in a bad situation. She pushes Marsa and I through each grueling day. She helps us hold unto reality. And that’s really, really important. I don’t know where Marsa and I would be without Chloe. And I am forever grateful for her guidance.

            David’s even worse now. The smallest little thing will make him blow up. Whenever David gets mad at something, he doesn’t beat the person who made him mad. Oh, no. He takes it out on me. That night, he carves more things on my skin. But, of course, David has way too many anger issues, so he cuts me a lot. Heck, I’m in the torture room almost every night. I’m surprised I haven’t died of blood loss yet. My skin is like a paper full of doodles. David carves on my legs, my arms, and my back, though he tends to stay away from my stomach, saying it bleeds too much. I know the real reason why, though. He wants to emphasize the Always scar, make sure it doesn’t get lost in a sea of scars.

            Me? I’m doing okay, I guess. Could be worse. I’m better than Marsa, at least. I don’t self harm that much. I don’t really need to, with David doing it for me. Sometimes, I get him mad on purpose just so he’ll beat me up. So physically, I’m not that hot right now. But mentally? I’m even worse. I feel like I’m partly to blame for Ethan’s death. I mean, Ben only kissed me once, and David said he might’ve forgiven him if it was just the one. But then I have to go and kiss him two more times! I really wasn’t thinking on how it would affect everyone else. Of course I wasn’t thinking about that. I never think. And when I do think, it’s always something selfish, like using up all of my parent’s money for clothes and electronics. I know I’m being selfish. I know I should stop. But I never do. And that’s another reason why I hate myself. And now, I’m the cause of two people’s murders: Laura and Ethan. If my mental state ever reaches an all time low (not the band), it would probably be now.

            So the last month has definitely been a downward spiral for all of the residents of the mountain estate. I hope things cheer up soon, though. If it keeps getting worse and worse, I don’t know how much more I can take. I could break any moment. But, at least this didn’t happen to someone innocent. At least I saved someone else from all of the pain and sorrow. At least I did that much.

            Right?

A/N: Yes, I know this is a really short chapter. That's why I made sure I was updating at least twice today. Maybe even three times if I'm lucky. Whatever. <3 Julie