As I'm Letting Go

Chapter 1-January

The first time my mother ever hit me, was a year ago on January 11th. She started hounding me to join some club because I needed to be more social and actually have something to do. I was getting frustrated with the conversation because she wasn't listening to what I was trying to say. She never does.

The conversation started getting out of hand. It got so out of hand that I told her to shut up and she slapped me across the face.

You would think that I probably deserved it. I thought so too. I shouldn't have spoke to her like that. But what I didn't know then, was that it would continue and get worse.

When my father died a few months later from heart failure, that's when it started again. I didn't have a parent on my side anymore; so whenever my little sister would blame me for something, I'd get hit, whenever I didn't do a chore right or at all, I got hit, etc.

Now I am a sophomore who has been putting up with abuse from my mother for 1 year. I am counting down the days until I leave this home, this town, maybe even this state. I just want to get away from this. I want to put this in the past and start over fresh somewhere else, somewhere far far away.

...

"Beth Hebel! Get your ass down here now!"

"I'm coming mother!"

I race down the stairs as I prepare myself for her wrath.

"Yes mother?"

"Did you take a toy from your sister?"

"It was a stuffed animal and it was mine."

"You didn't answer my question, did you take the "stuffed animal" from your sister?"

"Yes...but only because it was..."

Smack

"You don't take stuff from your sister."

As my mother walks away, I whisper to myself, "You don't even know the full story, and it was mine."

My sister than skips into the kitchen, "Haha, you got in trouble!"

"Yeah, thanks a lot Ann."

I then head back upstairs into my room, shut my door and lock it.

...

When I wake up from my alarm at 7:00, I head into the shower before going downstairs to take care of the dogs.

Once I finish up, I go downstairs to find my mother awake and taking care of the dogs for me.

'Great'

"Don't worry, I took care of the dogs for you."

"Thank you mother."

Smack

"This is your job to do, not mine."

"I'm sorry mother."

"You should be."

I walk into the kitchen and fix myself up some breakfast and take a seat at the table.

"Mom says you have to make me breakfast." Ann says as she waltzes into the kitchen.

"What do you want?"

"Pancakes! With chocolate chips!"

"Okay, let me finish my breakfast and then I'll start with yours."

"No! I want it now!!!!!"

"Fine!"

Once I finish making my sister pancakes instead of her saying thanks she says, "You have to play with me."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Fine, then I'm going to ask mom!"

"Fine, I'll be up in my room while you do that."

As I'm up in my room, I overhear Ann talking to mother. Then I hear footsteps, and they start getting louder and louder and louder.

"Did you tell your sister your not playing with her?"

"Yes I did."

"Your not staying in your room all day like some moody teenager."

"I wasn't planning on it."

Smack

"You don't talk back to me."

"Fine."

"You will play with your sister because you can not stay in a room all day and be antisocial."

"Fine."

Smack

"Have any other words you can use?"

"Nope."

Smack

And then my mom exits my room, leaving the door open.

'Love you too'