As I'm Letting Go

Chapter 19-Three Years Later

Beth's POV

I'm sitting on a bench admiring the view, waiting. I see someone approaching on my left. He sits down beside me and looks in my direction.

"Hey Beth."

"Hey Dylan." I turn towards him and give him a big grin.

"What were you looking at?" He questions.

"The campus." I answer, resuming my gaze on the beautiful 3-story high brick building.

"Why?" He glances at the building, looks back at me and continues, "It's not that attractive. There's a much better view over here."

I shake my head while looking at the ground and chuckling to myself. I lift my head, stare into those gorgeous blues and quietly reply, "Yes Dylan. You are a sight to behold."

Dylan smirks and leans in for a kiss. However, before he can, I add, "But the campus is more attractive." Even though that is a lie, I love to egg him on.

"Ouch." Dylan pretends to be hurt by my words, but I know he knows I was only kidding.

To continue the torture, I say, "The truth hurts Babe." I smile, give a quick peck and start rising from the bench.

"Oh really?" He has this mischievous look on his face and I know it can't be good. I start bolting down the sidewalk at the same moment he says, "So can this", and runs after me.

After only a few short seconds, Dylan has already caught up to me. He wraps his arms around my waist, lifts me off the ground and plops me on the grass. I'm wriggling like a worm, laughing, and screaming for him to stop tickling me. Unfortunately, he won't give. So I use my legs to push him on his back and I position myself to be the one on top. I pin his wrists down and give him a deep kiss.

"Truce?" I ask Dylan.

"Truce."

Dylan flips me on my back and we lay on the grass, looking at the sky and enjoying the time together.

When we both received acceptance letters for full rides to the same school, we were ecstatic. We rented an apartment that was walking distance to the campus together, we did orientation together, we bought our supplies together, we even told our families our acceptance and how we were moving in together together. But within the first week, everything changed.

We had none of the same classes together, not even lunch period, and our after school activities were different too. While I was volunteering at various organizations, Dylan was off doing something for football. Whether it was gym, practice, games, celebrations with the team, team building activities, etc. Of course I never got frustrated at him for any of it. How could I? His full ride was because of football. Even on the weekends, we're working to pay the bills. The only time we have together is late at night, like after dinner hours. We will study, or watch TV, or just turn in for the night. On the other hand, we will get rare occasions like this.

I take a deep sigh and turn to face Dylan. He looks at me and I know he's thinking the same thing.

"I miss this," I look away from Dylan because I don't want to see his expression, "I miss us."

Dylan looks away and says, "I miss this too", so quietly that I almost didn't hear him.

After a long pause, Dylan grabs my hand and continues, "But at least it's the end of our first year of college. So we have all summer to look forward to with each other. We're going to be together so much you are going to get sick of me and want to get back to the way things are now."

I look back at Dylan. "I could never get sick of you."

"You remember that whenever you get annoyed with me during the summer."

"Even if I forget, I'm sure you'll be right there to remind me."

"Of course." I thought that was the end of the conversation until Dylan added, "I'm always gonna be there for you."

...

Dylan's POV

I just finished talking to coach about next year's season and I'm heading out of the building when my phone rings.

I grab my phone from my pocket and answer with, "Hello?"

"Have you done it yet?" One of my best friends from high school asks.

"No I have not. And will you stop calling every day asking."

"Hey, I didn't call yesterday."

He was right. I had to give him points for that. But he was still bugging me incessantly.

"Congrats. One day of silence," I continued, "I wonder if you can break this new record."

"Fine. Joke all you want. But eventually you need to grow some balls and just do it already."

Again, he was right. He was pretty good at that. I just didn't want to admit it.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll talk to you later, I'm assuming?"

"Of course."

By the time the conversation is over, I have already made it into my neighborhood. However, I decide to take a detour and head to the park to clear my head.

I take a seat on a swing, close my eyes and try to clear my head. This year has been so hectic. The only thing that's kept me sane through all this is Beth.

You know that saying? "I can't imagine my life before so and so?" I think it's total bullshit. I believe what it should be is, "I don't want to imagine my life before so and so." Because of course you remember your life before they walked into it. That's what makes the life with them so special. How much of an effect they have and how much you change because of them. You don't want to remember before they came into the picture, because you can't fathom how you thought your life was whole before them.

That's the thought running through my head as I'm sitting on a park swing at 8 o' clock at night.

...

I'm walking up the steps to my...our... apartment. I unlock and push open the door to find it completely black, except for a sliver of light streaming in from the bedroom. I shut and lock the door behind me, take off my coat and shoes and head for the bedroom. I peek in to find Beth passed out on the bed with a book in her lap. I can't help but smile at the image. How peaceful she looks. I head to the bathroom to clean up and go back to the bedroom. Only now, Beth is awake and under the covers with the book closed on her nightstand.

"I'm sorry if I woke you." I say as I head for the bed.

Beth turns to me and replies, "No, it's fine. I was trying to wait up for you anyway."

I lay down under the covers as Beth snuggles closer to me. I can't help but stare at her. Thinking how lucky I am to have her. However, I can't stop the thought of how I don't deserve her from creeping in too.

I whisper to her, "Goodnight." Then give her a kiss on the head.

She says it back and snuggles in closer. As I'm about to turn the lights off she murmurs, "I love you," before drifting off to sleep.

Then it's lights out.