As I'm Letting Go

Chapter 4-February

As I walk through the doors of my school, I am bombarded by all of the girls.

"Oh..my..god, Beth!!! I need all the support I can get." Kailynn says to me.

"For what?"

"Oh my god! You didn't hear!" Sarah squeals to me.

"Hear what?"

"Okay...so...Dylan is trying to get back together with me!" Kailynn whisper yells.

"Well...that's amazing!" I try to sound excited, even plaster on a smile, but it doesn't work. Luckily for me, no one noticed the tone in my voice.

"It's not amazing Beth!" Kailynn exclaims.

"And why not?"

"Because...if I get back together with him people will think that he has this control over me and that he can get whatever he wants out of me which will make others beg or even pay money to get him to do something for them from me. Don't you get it?!"

"Yeah...totally." 'Not really'

"Ohmygod!!! Here he comes!!!" Sarah whisper screams to us.

We arrive at my locker and turn towards it, to make it look like we're not paying any attention towards him.

As I'm opening my locker, I notice Sarah is on my right and nonchalantly watching Dylan while all the other girls are behind her. Kailynn on the other hand, is on my left, with her back turned towards Dylan so she doesn't look at him at all.

Dylan stops right behind Kailynn, leaving only a few inches between them. While all of us girls are only 5' 3", give or take an inch, Dylan towers over us at 6'.

"Hello Kailynn." Dylan says calmly, with a sly smirk on his face.

Kailynn turns to face Dylan and says, "What do you want?"

"Kailynn...dear...you know what I want. I want to get back together with you."

Dylan reaches for her hand but she pulls it away, "We are never..ever..getting back together."

With those words, she turns back around, "See you later Beth.", and leaves with every other girl following behind.

I am trying not to pay much attention to the fact that Dylan is still standing there. With his overshadowing body.

I dare to take a side glance at him as I'm putting my last binder I need in my backpack. I wish I hadn't, because as I look at him, I find him looking....at me.

"Hello Beth."

He does that same... devilishly handsome smirk to me, that he did to Kailynn.

'Shut your locker and walk away...just walk away Beth. Don't pay attention to the fact that he's talking to you. Don't pay attention to that smirk......that beautiful....handsome.... wonderful....eye-catching smirk. Come on Beth!!! Walk away!!!!'

But I can't. As I shut my locker, all I can do is look at him. Look at him with those blue eyes and dirty blonde hair.

'He is so good looking! Ughhhhhhh...those eyes. Stop it Beth!'

"What do you want?"

"I was wondering..."

But before Dylan finishes, I cut him off.

"If it has anything to do with Kailynn....I'm not partaking in it."

"Wow. Someone's sassy"

"No, just protective, of myself. I'm not getting involved because I don't need there to be problems with her and I."

"Smart too. I like it."

'Don't smile...don't smile...don't smile...he's trying to break you...he wants you to cave in...'

"You're right, I am smart. Smart enough to know that this is not going to go over well with Kailynn."

I turn and start walking away, but then Dylan runs to catch up with me.

"Why do you care what Kailynn thinks?"

"Because she's my friend and friends don't betray other friends."

"How are you betraying her?"

"You ask a lot of questions."

"Just curious."

"Mmmmhmmm sure. Well if you must know, to her, me talking to you will be like betrayal."

"How? We're not dating."

"But you used to. And that's worse. Haven't you ever heard of girl code. Dating Kailynn you must have."

I meant to say that last sentence quietly, but it slipped out accidentally. To my surprise, Dylan found it funny and laughed.

'What a handsome laugh...so perfect.'

"Yeah, I get what you mean. She can definitely be over the top sometimes."

"Sometimes? More like all the time, after all she is the most popular girl at this school."

Suddenly, Dylan stops walking and his smile falls.

I stop too and turn to face him, "What?"

"I'm the most popular boy at this school. Does that mean that I'm over the top all the time as well?"

'Do I tell the truth of what I think or just say what I think he thinks I'm going to say'

"Do you want the truth?"

"Of course. What else would I want?"

As soon as I heard those words, I knew that what I thought of him must be true.

"I believe that..." I look up into those gorgeous blue eyes, "you pretend to be exactly what everyone expects you to be. But deep down, your true self, is totally opposite. I believe that you're a really smart, kind, generous guy. But you don't let anyone see that because your afraid of what people might think."

After I finish, we stare at each other, lost in each other's eyes.

Just then, Dylan puts on the biggest grin I have ever seen on him before.

He walks back up to me and we continue walking to my first hour class in silence.

When we arrive at my first hour class's door, I turn to him and he does the same.

"Ummmmm....thanks for walking me to my class."

"No problem, not like I had anything better to do."

"Not even going to get the girl of your dreams?"

"I don't think she's the right girl for me. Not to mention, she is definitely not the girl of my dreams."

Butterflies swarm around in my stomach.

"Also, thanks for being honest with what you think of me."

"Your welcome."

He gives me one of his signature grins and walks away.