A CUP OF SCORPIO VENOM

lost cause

lost cause

my mind is a word search constantly trying to find the words to describe how you made me feel.

you were my universe, and when you left, i felt my universe shifting towards a black hole.

the stars we hung together quickly began to fall, and everyone around us began making wishes.

when i would scream, the world was so silent, but all anyone heard was a twenty year old taking down another shot.

make that two more because ever since you left me, my heart craves the unsober conversation it shares with my brain, telling me it was over before it even began.

when we first kissed, the world stopped rotating and everything felt still, and i should have known that a kiss should feel like two worlds crashing and making a beautiful explosion.

i'd close my eyes and dream of your soul drifting into my direction once more, but weeks had gone by, and those weeks became months.

and soon it became years, and i stood with my feet glued to the idea that someday you may want me back.

when 11:11 appeared on clocks, each day i'd wish for you to come back and make me happy.

it wasn't until i was drunk on the bathroom floor that i realized that maybe you were wishing on 11:11 that you could find someone who would make you feel a way you never felt before.

it hit me so hard; i had to stand up and fave reality that no matter how much you wished for someone, if they didn't love you, they could break the contract you tried creating with faith.

if you looked closely at the words on your poorly written contract, you would find that the weakness in your voice is selfish to kidnap a lover who was never yours in the first place.

my heart is an unfinished puzzle, waiting for the hands of a lover to put it together.

until then, i'll keep rewinding the love i once shared with a man who's better off without me.

i just hope one night, i'll get some sleep again.

— e. gould